


How Does It Feel Like

by Damhill



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 19:10:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 25,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2479268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damhill/pseuds/Damhill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of the affair between JJ and Emily. The angst of conflincting feelings and the underlying complications of a forbidden relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I've written over two years ago on fanfic net and now decided to post here as well.  
> It is set before Emily's departure from the BAU, as you'll understand. I'll be posting the chapters at a considerable high speed, once they are all already written. Waiting for your comments and reviews. Hope you enjoy it. Thank you, Damhill.

Was there a better way to spend a Friday night evening than with your two best friends? People can say whatever they want, but that is just one thing you have to love doing. Especially when you haven't hung out with them for almost 6 months anywhere other than at your work place. And that couldn't really be classified as "hanging out"…

When the opportunity came, Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau and Penelope Garcia didn't waste it. They had arrived one day ago from a case in New Hampshire, and they had the whole weekend off (at least, that was what they hoped).

Will had taken Henry to New Orleans to visit the little family he had left there while JJ was out in the field. They would only return on Sunday, so JJ decided to invite her two girl friends over that night so they could have the evening and night for themselves, accompanied only by dinner, popcorn, movies and drinks.

"As Rossi would say - _If you don't feel like doing it properly, please order a pizza!_ " – Emily said, impersonating David Rossi, as the other two burst out in laughter.

"Except this isn't exactly pizza, Emily." – Penelope said while she placed the frozen food in the oven.

"I guess pre-done Lasagne fits Rossi's saying just as well as pizza, though." – JJ stated, as she entered the kitchen with one bottle of black vodka in her right hand and a bottle of lemon juice in the left. – And I thought wine was too fancy for this dinner too. So, what do you say about something a little… darker?

The blonde swung the bottles slightly in front of them whilst Penelope and Emily turned around to face her.

"Oh! Girl wants to party, I see!" – Garcia said with a grin, both hands landing on the sides of her waist while she moved her eyebrows up and down.

"Pen, you haven't seen anything yet. From the place these came, more are waiting". – JJ replied, copying Penelope's eyebrow movement.

The three women started laughing again.

They waited forty five minutes for the lasagne to be ready. Meanwhile they talked, told jokes and laughed as they didn't in a long time. When their dinner was finally ready, JJ took it off the oven and placed it in the round table in her dinning room. The table was all set, Penelope had taken care of that, and the drinks too were all set.

Not long was needed for the lowball glasses start being emptied.

After finishing their food and just stacking the plates and cutlery in the kitchen sink, the three women moved to the couch in the living room, never forgetting to take their drinks and the bottles with them, placing the items in the little rectangular center table in front of the big couch. While Emily turned on the TV and the DVD player, JJ decided to go make them popcorn.

"Argh, why did I sit down in the couch if I was going to get up again?" – the blonde complained as she felt a soft dizziness in her head as she got up. Was the vodka starting to make its effect on her already? _"No, you are not getting drunk just yet Jareau"_ , she told to herself whilst she straightened her back and walked confidently into the kitchen.

After a few minutes she returned from the kitchen with a big bowl of popcorn with sugar and found Garcia and Prentiss already accommodated in her couch. She joined them, sitting next to Penelope, who was in the middle of the couch, and now the blonde was to Penelope's left, and the brunette to her right side.

"What movie are we watching?" – JJ asked whilst taking a handful of popcorn for herself before placing the bowl in the table, next to the bottle of vodka.

" _Black Swan_." – Garcia answered as she took her own handful of popcorn.

JJ moved to the edge of the couch so that she could face both of them.

"Seriously?" – she asked, with a frown.

Penelope and Emily looked at her, surprised.

"Well… yeah. Why?" – Penelope asked, confused.

"I mean, with so many fun movies out there, why would you choose Black Swan? That movie's creepy as hell!"

Whilst Penelope's face was still confused and concerned, in Prentiss' face a big smile started to emerge.

"Are you scared of a dark, psychotic, Natalie Portman movie, Agent Jareau?" – The brunette asked playfully.

"No! It's not that! I just don't like that kind of movie. And I get enough of dark and psychotic almost every day, I thought you did too!" – JJ was starting to blush at the sudden attack from the brunette.

"We surely don't get enough of Natalie Portman every day." – Garcia said. Now she as well was smiling and looking at JJ playfully.

The other two started laughing at the tech's comment.

"I'm starting to think our dear Miss Jareau is a scaredy cat!" – Prentiss teased.

JJ shook her head and just ignored the teasing. She had an idea that could change her friends' mind. She didn't like that movie, and she wasn't going to let them watch it in their fun girls' night.

"Well, I have a better idea than watching Natalie Portman with feathers growing on her skin! Let's play drinking games!" – She said, getting up from the couch and sitting on the floor, on the opposite side of the rectangular center table, facing her friends.

Prentiss and Garcia looked at each other and shrugged.

"Can't say no to that!" – Both women said in unison.

Another wave of laughter filled the room.

That was the moment when, for some reason, the floor felt like a righter place to be sitting in than the comfortable couch. Was that some kind of subconscious action to avoid any possible drink spilling on the couch? Whatever the reason was, both Emily and Penelope joined JJ on the floor, forming a triangle between them, around the low center table.

Glasses started being filled with black vodka and juice in a proportion of one to two.

"So, tell us JJ, what game are we going to play?" – Emily asked.

But before JJ had time to say something, Garcia spoke.

"Oh I have a good one! Let's play the "Never have I ever" game." – the quirky woman said. The excitement in her voice had definitely been heightened by the alcohol she had during dinner.

JJ looked at Prentiss, who had the same "I don't know if that's a good idea" look in her face. The most incredible things could be discovered with that game, and sometimes they weren't all that pleasant. There was always the lying possibility, but when two of the three people in the room were excellent profilers, almost every lie would be spotted.

"Garcia, I think we shouldn't…" - Prentiss started saying, but was interrupted by Garcia in the middle of her sentence.

"Nah!" – she started, waving her index finger in front of the brunette's eyes. "Don't even start! C'mon! We haven't played this game in, like, ages! And the boys are not here, no harm can come from it."

Emily glanced at Garcia and then back to JJ. Without knowing what to say, she gestured JJ for help protesting against the idea. But for her surprise, her claim was answered with a shrug from the blonde.

"Well, at least anything that comes to surface will only be heard by us three. Morgan isn't here to acquire information with which he'd torture us for the rest of our lives." – JJ said with a grin popping up on her face as she mentioned Morgan's habit.

They all laughed. The last time they played that game with Morgan, they discovered that Emily Prentiss once dated a guy who was 4 years younger than her. For the following months, in the most inappropriate times Derek Morgan managed to bring the subject up and call her _Cougar._

"Ok, fine. But write what I'm saying! In the end of the night, it won't be me regretting to have started it." - Emily said.

"We know it won't." – Garcia said whilst delivering soft strokes into Emily's left shoulder.

JJ smiled and then pointed for Penelope to be the first, once it was her idea.

"Never have I ever…" - she rolled her eyes as she thought of something to say. "...done a striptease for any of my boyfriends."

Prentiss remained still with a smile on her lips, which developed into an open mouth when JJ's glass reached her mouth and she sipped the black liquid twice.

"Oh! Naughty!" – Penelope yelled. Prentiss was now laughing at JJ's blushing cheeks. The blonde looked so sweet when she was embarrassed.

To avoid any further comment, JJ gestured Emily to continue, it was her turn. And so Emily spoke.

"Never have I ever wore a skirt without underwear."

"Oh come on! You don't even wear skirts!" – JJ exclaimed as she lifted her hands up in the air and then let them fall back in her lap, before grabbing her drink from the table and sipping it again.

"Oh my God, JJ! You _did_ wear… without? Seriously?" – Prentiss asked incredulous. She started giggling after a second. Only then she noticed Garcia stretching her arm to grab her glass and drink too. – _Seriously_? – The brunette repeated with a huge grin on her lips. "Who's the naughty girl now, Pen?"

"It was only once! And I was going to meet Kevin, so…" - the quirky analyst said.

"Too much information Garcia! You can keep what you've done next to yourself!" – Emily interrupted, making Garcia a signal to stop with her right hand. "What about you JJ, did you attend a press conference without panties?"

Both her and Penelope started laughing at the thought. As she listened to the brunette's question, JJ leaned back slightly and open her mouth in protest.

 _"What_? Who do you think I am? I'd never do that!" – She made an offended look, to which Prentiss responded by lifting her arms to the height of her shoulder in sign of surrender before she started laughing harder. – "I wasn't even in the FBI when it happened, and it was only once as well! I had this rich friend, and she invited a bunch of college colleagues into her house, but no one knew she had a swimming pool, so no one came prepared for it. The thing is we all wanted to go on it, so we went with our underwear. When we were heading back home I could either just dress my skirt on top of my wet panties so that everyone on the bus I took home could think I had peed, or I could take them off and look normal. Of course I took the second option!"

 _"If_ that's true, Garcia, you get the Naughtiness Award on this one!" – Emily cried out.

"Shame on me." – Garcia said, stabbing herself in the heart with an imaginary knife whilst smiling at Emily. – "It's your turn Jayje."

"Ok, so for you two to stop thinking I'm a depraved girl: Never have I ever missed a class! EVER!" – the blonde agent stated with pride.

Garcia and Prentiss tried to argue that it wasn't possible, but JJ said again that she had never missed a class, neither in high school or college, so the other two had no option but to take a sip at their drinks.

The game kept on going, and little dirty and dark secrets were revealed. But the women were having so much fun they didn't want to stop. The only problem was the alcohol streaming in their veins. Although they weren't totally drunk, the alcohol was starting to leave their minds looser, unrestrained and able to say things and mention subjects they would probably never talk about if they were sober.

"Ladies, tell me if this isn't so much better than sitting in the sofa watching Black Swan!" – JJ said as she sipped her drink.

"Yeah, you are right! Not that watching a delusional Natalie Portman making out with Mila Kunis and that other guy is all that bad." – Prentiss claimed with a smile.

JJ pointed her index finger towards Emily as if telling her to hold the thought whilst she finished swallowing her drink.

"I have a good one!" – She said, referring to the drinking game they were playing. – "Never have I ever kissed a girl in my life."

The blonde looked at the two women in front of her, waiting to see if any of them would take the glass to their lips. If they did, it meant they had kissed a girl before. For her surprise, both Emily and Penelope took a sip. In that moment, Emily looked at Penelope, astonished. And the tech looked at the black haired woman with the same stare. The sum of their surprised faces was spread all over JJ's face.

"Wow, wow, wow! We have to go through this in detail my darlings!" – JJ said with a grin. - "Spit it out!"

"Not much to spit out…" - Garcia started – "I kissed one of my best girl friends in high school just for the fun of it. We just wanted to try it!"

"You… who are always checking every hot dude in a three mile radius! I wasn't expecting that." – Prentiss said with bluntly open eyes and a grin.

"Well, I can't believe you really did it either, my sweet highschool punk!" – Garcia shouted out.

Emily rolled her eyes at her friends comment, and simply shook her head. But JJ and Garcia wanted to know some more. Emily had never really spoken about her past relationships or any other event in her life that wasn't strictly necessary to be known. So JJ pressed her, and she finally gave in.

"I'm not gonna tell you much. Only thing you'll know is that I've kissed more than one girl, more than once. And now this mouth is a tomb." – Prentiss said and then leaned back so that her back and neck were resting in the front of the couch.

A wave of complains and "c'mon"s was shouted by the other two, now very interested, women on the room.

That conversation was sending butterflies into JJ's belly. She didn't know why. Maybe it was just the alcohol. So she decided to ignore the feeling.

Though Emily refused to reveal anything else about the subject, JJ swore to herself she was going to bring it up again that night. But for now, she was going to let the brunette in peace.

The three girls talked and laughed for almost another full hour. The longcase clock on the corner of JJ's living room read 2:00 am. Garcia glanced it.

"Shit, I promised to meet Kevin at his place around ten in the morning. I'm drunk, I won't make it! He'll kill me." – She said whilst she dove her head in between her hands.

"I guess you should text him to come and pick you up. And, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea if you tried to get some sleep Pen." – JJ said, she as well was starting to get sleepy.

Garcia nodded and simply got up from the floor and laid down on the couch. Not long was needed for the tech to fall into a deep, stone sleep. Prentiss and JJ were still joking around when they noticed Penelope was actually sleeping. Then JJ thought it was the right time to push Emily a little more. She wanted to know more about her friend's past, and as Emily was a bit drunk, she was going to take advantage of that. Or at least, that's what she thought would happen.

"Emily, I'm sorry for bringing this subject up again but… When was the last time you kissed a woman?" – The blonde agent asked, keeping the partying tone and posture they were talking in. Maybe that way Emily would be more open about it.

Unlike what JJ was expecting, Emily didn't answer. Instead, the brunette stared at her with a mistrustful expression, and suddenly a soft smile formed in her lips.

"Why are you so interested in that?" – Emily asked.

"Nothing. I'm just curious." – JJ answered with a shrug. She noticed the change on Emily's features. And that left her suddenly _uncomfortable_. Was that the right word to express how she was feeling?

Emily placed her right arm on the carpet and leaned slightly in JJ's direction. If JJ was going to keep pressing her on that subject, she would do the same. _"It's the booze that's driving me. Nothing else.",_ the dark haired agent said to herself as she carefully thought about what she was going to ask next.

"Curious about what, Jareau?" – The right corner of her lips quirked upwards.

JJ opened her mouth but no words came out. She didn't know what to answer. To be more precise, she didn't know if she should answer it. Was Emily teasing her? And why were the butterflies invading her stomach again. She didn't even notice the answer had escaped her lips till the moment she saw Emily's eyebrow rise.

"About how it feels like…"

Emily smiled softly. She pushed herself forward, circumventing the table's corner and got closer to JJ. Still sitting down on the floor, unmoving, JJ's body seemed to paralyze as Emily placed her left hand on her leg without ever taking those dark eyes off her electrifying blue ones.

JJ's heart started beating faster, trying to get more blood streaming to her brain so that she could think properly. She tried. She tried to think about Will, and the meaning of professionalism, but the alcohol was blocking those thoughts, forbidding her conscience to tell her that was likely to be a bad idea.

"Well, I can't tell you how it feels…" – The brunette said as she carefully analyzed the woman in front of her.

If she was going to do this, Prentiss wanted to be sure they were still in the "all good and free of future problems" barrier. That it wouldn't be more than a fun, booze-caused one-time event. She wanted it to happen. She had actually dreamt of it once or twice since she and JJ became friends. But their friendship was too sacred for her. That was the most important for her.

Emily's answer left JJ confused. Maybe what she thought was about to happen was just her imagination derailing. But a few seconds later, Emily ended her sentence.

"… But I _can_ show you."

JJ's eyes widened. After all it wasn't just her imagination working extra hours.

Emily leaned closer, slowly, making sure she didn't scare JJ and that the blonde was up to it. She could see the little tip of panic on JJ's face as she did.

They were so close that JJ could feel the air Emily exhaled tickling her skin.

Emily's hand left JJ's leg and went up to find the blonde's face, caressing it softly. Her eyes were now locked on JJ's lip as she used her thumb to trace the other woman's bottom lip. She looked one last time into JJ's eyes. She could swear she saw desire sparkling through them. As JJ slightly opened her lips, Emily closed the last inch separating them, capturing JJ's lips with her own.

The kiss was unhurried and fervent. When they finally pulled apart, JJ kept her eyes closed, memorizing the moment. Emily whispered:

"So, how does it feel?"

\- "Well, I can't tell you how it feels…" – JJ said, mimicking Emily's previous comment.

They both laughed, and suddenly Emily felt JJ's lips crash onto hers. They kissed for a long minute. What at first had been just a soft kiss on the lips, had now evolved into a much deeper kiss. Tongues sliding into each others mouths, in a battle of lust.

Driven by the desire building up inside of her and by the alcohol heating her even more, Emily moved her hand under JJ's shirt, caressing the soft skin beneath it. Wrong move. JJ broke the kiss and grabbed Emily's hand with hers.

She smiled softly, and then avoided to look into the brunettes eyes. The floor seemed like a better place to look at.

"I think we should stop and get some sleep, it's getting really late." – There wasn't hurt, or even regret on her voice. Just that tiny timbre of soberness and reasoning emerging.

Emily smiled back at her. And without another word, she got up and found her way to the guest room. Laying on the bed, without even bothering to take her shoes off or covering herself.

* * *

JJ woke up with the noise of someone in the kitchen. She sat up and massaged her temples, trying to take her sudden headache away.

When her head finally started to thump least, she got up and went to the kitchen, finding Garcia running from the fridge to the door with a liquid yogurt on her hand.

"Kevin is downstairs. I go to go." – Penelope said as she placed a good-morning kiss on JJ's forehead.

Garcia stopped her fast motion action and stared at JJ for an instant.

"JayJay, are you okay?"

The blonde woman looked at her friend and did her best to give her a firm smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My head is just a little numb."

"I understand why." – The tech replied with a grin.

 _Oh, you have no idea why,_ JJ thought.

"Last night: _Awesome_! See you later cupcake!" - Garcia said quickly.

When JJ was about to say good bye, the tech was already out of the door. She smiled and then decided to make some breakfast for her and Prentiss.

As JJ was placing the food on the table, she was startled by a tired "Hi" coming from behind her. She turned around and found Emily by the kitchen door.

"Hi…" - JJ replied.

An awkward moment of silence settled, one that JJ didn't want wandering between them.

"Listen, Emily…" - The blonde agent started saying, but was interrupted by Emily's hand gesturing her to stop.

The brunette moved towards her with a reassuring smile and placed her hands on JJ's shoulders, looking at the blonde's deep blue eyes.

"JJ, you don't need to worry. We were drunk. It was just a weirdly nice moment between friends that will have no repercussion in our lives, or in our friendship. You love Will, and you love Henry. And you are my best friend. What happened tonight will not change anything."

JJ watched Emily's secure smile and comforting gaze while she was talking. The weight of guilt she woke up in was being taken off her back at each word. She smiled back at Emily.

"Thanks. You just took a giant stone out of my back. You know I'd never want things to get awkward between us." - JJ said.

"And don't worry with me saying anything to anyone. It'll be our secret." – Emily added.

JJ nodded. Emily started to turn around and head to the bathroom, but she stopped herself on the way and turned back again.

"Jayje…" - She said with a mischievous grin on her face. – "How did it feel, though?"

Hearing Emily's question made JJ laugh when she thought of what led to last night's occurrence. She looked at her friend with a smile on her lips.

"All I can say Em, is that you are a damn good kisser." – The blonde said with a shrug.

Emily laughed and resumed her way into the bathroom.

Apparently everything was normal and well. There was just one thing wandering in JJ's mind. What would have happened if she hadn't stopped Emily's hand from moving to her back, if she hadn't break that kiss?

That was probably a question she would never get the answer for. But it would definitely be stuck in her mind, 'haunting' her.


	2. Waking up

"How does it feel like?" Emily heard JJ ask. The blonde whispering in her ear sent shivers through her body. Desire heating up inside her. "Show me, Emily."

They were both sitting on the floor. JJ was leaning over Emily, her delicate hands in her thighs, taking some of her small weight onto them, as she kept leaning forward. The blonde's nose was almost touching her right ear while she whispered those words in a soft, pleading voice that Emily wasn't sure she had ever heard before.

Emily couldn't resist. She gave in, wrapping one arm around JJ's back, pulling her friend closer, whilst her other hand caressed JJ's cheek, requiring their eyes to meet. With no more words, Emily eagerly claimed JJ's lips with her own. She felt the blonde kissing her back and giving her tongue permission to meet hers by slightly opening her mouth. Their kiss became rougher. Emily moved and pressured her body slightly on top of JJ's, making the blonde slowly lay on the floor's carpet. JJ's hand wandered up and down the brunette's sides whilst they continued exploring each others mouths, fervently.

Taking advantage of her position on top of JJ, Emily straddled the blonde's hips. She broke the kiss, causing a moan to escape JJ's mouth. The brunette nipped the other woman's hear softly and then started leaving a trail of kisses from her neck to her collar bone, feeling JJ's back slightly arch from the floor, seeking maximum contact.

That was when Emily started listening to a loud, annoying sound coming from somewhere near by. She struggled to ignore it, but as she did, the action between herself and JJ seemed to stop too. _"No, no, no!"_ She forced her mind to keep focused on JJ. In an attempt to intensify the moment, she slid her hands beneath JJ's shirt, caressing the silk skin of her stomach.

Despite Emily's efforts, that piercing sound was distracting her. Why was that happening?

At last she recognized what that sound was. It was her phone's alarm clock. " _Damn it!_ "

Emily realized she was waking up. She was just dreaming.

The brunette reluctantly opened her eyes. Spotting the offending object, she stretched her arm to reach it, and pressed the button to silence it. With a groan, she turned in her bed, burying her face in the cozy pillow.

" _What the hell were you dreaming about?! Are you crazy?"_ , she cursed to herself.

Since that drunk event at JJ's house, two weeks earlier, it was the third time she had dreams about JJ. In all of them JJ would ask her _'how it feels like'_ , and her subconscious would end up manufacturing a very intense scene.

Feeling her lungs' need for oxygen, she turned in bed again, this time facing the blank ceiling, and her brain rambled into her dreams and memories of the night she kissed JJ's lips… those soft, pink lips.

She shook her head to try and take those thoughts to the back of her mind.

"Good thing you were the one who said that what happened that night wouldn't change anything. Good thing Emily!", she said sarcastically to herself. In fact, she was the one that told JJ not to worry about what happened between them. Emily knew the blonde had only done that because she was drunk. And she thought it hadn't meant anything to herself either. But her subconscious thoughts were starting to scare her.

She finally decided to get out of bed. "Maybe a big slice of strawberry cheesecake will take my mind of this nonsense."

* * *

 

 

It had been a really tough case for everyone on the team. But specially for JJ.

The team had been called on a case in Dallas. The unsub was targeting and kidnapping young boys. Their bodies would show up dead, raped and malnourished two or three days prior to the abduction. In only a few days, the team was able to figure out the unsub's MO, and eventually find out where his house was. Hotch and Rossi, Morgan and Reid made two teams to sweep the house, while Emily and JJ went for the backyard.

Whilst walking around the small yard, JJ steped on something that made a squeaking noise. Emily heard it in that same instance, and their frozen gazes met. Without a word, JJ signaled for Emily to come closer to where she was standing. Under a fake grass coverage was some kind of wooden hatch.  
Emily alerted the team that they were going in.

Trying to be as silent as it was humanly possible, Emily opened the hatch, and JJ entered, walking down the small staircase. Emily waited for her to reach the bottom and was about to go in as well, when a loud gunshot made her petrify. _"Jayje…"_ She looked down the dark hole and saw JJ standing there, with her hand at the level of her eyes. Her gun and lantern pointed straight ahead, into the depth of the basement. It hadn't been the blonde that had shot. But she wasn't hurt either.

"Who are you? Drop your gun now, bitch! Throw it towards me!" The voice of the unsub erupted from the basement into Emily's ears. She couldn't see him, she could only barely see JJ, but she could hear him. Of course he had a gun, but if he didn't know that Emily was there, she could use the surprise factor to try and shoot him, before anything happened to JJ.

JJ didn't move at first. "You know I can't do that.", she said quietly.

"Drop the fucking gun or I'll kill the boy, and then I'll shoot you!"

 _Shit!_ He had the kid there with him, Prentiss realized. That way she couldn't just pop in and shoot anything that moved. That way she didn't know what to do. _Shit!_

JJ looked up, just for a fraction of second. Once again she met Emily's frozen gaze, but she knew Prentiss would understand what she was planning, just with that one gaze. And Emily did.  
JJ looked back at the unsub and slowly lowered her weapon. She placed it on the floor and kicked it sideways.

What happened next wasn't longer than 10 seconds, but it felt like it happened in slow motion.

"I told you to throw it towards me, bitch! Don't try to play me!"

Without even blinking the unsub pushed his own gun into the boy's back, and pulled the trigger. A loud cry echoed throw the small space.

"Em!" JJ lifted her hand and Emily threw her her own gun. JJ grabbed it easily and aimed it at the unsub. The little boy was already shivering in the floor, and the unsub's gun pointed directly to JJ.

As a small tear slid down her face, JJ was the first one to pull the trigger. The bullet flew and punctured the unsub's brain, making him fall on the dirty floor, lifeless.

JJ ran towards the boy, he was not older than 10, and was only wearing a sweatshirt. Bruises covering his arms and legs, and a massive stain of blood covering his chest.

JJ held him quickly. "Prentiss I need an ambulance! He was shot in the chest! Quickly!"

She knew the ambulance wouldn't get there in time. There was too much blood.

"Everything's going to be ok. You'll be fine. Stay with me buddy." She held the boy's hand, and she could feel the life leaving his shaky body.

"Emily!" JJ screamed, as if by doing that she'd get the paramedics there faster.

Emily asked for the ambulance to come. The rest of the team was already by her side, but none got inside the basement.  
They could hear JJ saying things to keep the boy focused, awake, alive. But they knew there was nothing else they could do.

A whole minute passed, possibly one of the slowest minutes ever. Then there was silence.

Five minutes later the paramedics arrived, and took both dead bodies out of the basement.

JJ came out emotionless, covered in the little boy's blood.

"JJ, are you O.K?" Hotch asked her.

"Yeah." She answered, with a small, forced smile.

* * *

 

They arrived back at Quantico the day after.

The team said their good byes to each other, and went home.

As Emily was getting to her car, she looked around and saw that JJ was still there, inside her own car.

Emily waited to see if JJ was leaving, but the blonde woman remained still. Hands on the steering wheel, head resting on them.

Prentiss thought that if she walked up to her and knocked on the car window she'd startle up the blonde. So instead, she decided to text her. _'Are you planning on sleeping there? I think your bed might be much more comfortable. xx Em.'_

A second later Emily saw JJ picking up her phone, and when she started looking around and spotted the brunette, Prentiss smiled softly.

Now she thought it was the right time to walk up to JJ's car.

As she came closer, JJ rolled down the window.

"Hey." JJ said, with a tiny smile formed in her lips.

"Hey." Emily said back. "Not going home, Agent Jareau?"

JJ looked back to the steering wheel and nodded. "Eventually.", she said with a shrug.

"I think it would be good for you to go home and give your son a hug, JJ. And Will too." Emily said softly, placing a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder.

"They aren't there. Will took Henry on a small trip as we were on a case. That house is just another silent place right now."

JJ looked back into Emily's dark brown eyes.

"I know this may sound childish and stupid but, I don't want to be alone right now, Emily".


	3. The bad case

"Emily, I don't want to be a burden for you. Really, if you have anywhere or anyone else to be with, go. I'll be fine." JJ said as she opened the front door of her house.

"And I'll be fine here with you. Do you really think I have anywhere else to be, especially this late at night? My bed can wait for me till tomorrow. And Sergio is with the neighbor anyway." Emily replied holding the blonde's shoulders and giving them a light squeeze. As a matter of fact, in that moment, there was nowhere else Emily Prentiss would rather be, no one else she'd rather be with, than with JJ. But that she'd keep to herself.

As they entered the living room, Emily looked at the low center table standing between the TV and the two couches. Instantaneously, memories of that drunk night when she kissed JJ started flooding her mind. She tried to take them to the back of her brain, and looked away. Hopefully JJ wouldn't notice her momentary loss of composure.

Emily glanced at JJ, but she noticed the blonde wasn't really paying attention to anything. She watched as JJ sat down on the couch, and sighed softly.

"Oh Jayje…" Emily immediately sat down on the couch, right next to JJ, as the blonde broke down in tears. "Hey, what happened wasn't your fault." The brunette pulled the smaller woman into her arms, and let her cry on her chest.

"Yes it was, if I had kicked the gun towards him, he wouldn't have shot the boy. It's my fault he's dead Emily. I didn't protect him. That is supposed to be my job. And I didn't do it right. If I can't do my job right, why should I keep doing it?" The blonde cried.

Emily shook her head, and she got up from the couch, just to kneel down in front of JJ. She grabbed the blonde's hands with her own.

"Jayje, look at me." But her gaze wasn't met by JJ's crying eyes. "Hey…" she said once again. After a small moment JJ lifted her head slightly, and opened her eyes. Her blue orbs meeting Emily's brown ones. Even red and puffy, those blue eyes were the most beautiful ones Emily had ever seen in her life.

"We lost that little boy, there's no going back on that. We've lost many other lives on this job. But the reason we keep doing it is because we still save and prevent many others from falling in the hands of the monsters we catch. You have to hold on to that thought, Jareau. You have to hold on to the lives we save. You have to hold on to the good thing you have here."

JJ's crying had progressively ceased, as she heard Emily's reassuring words.

They stayed in silence for a few minutes. Emily's dark eyes watching JJ's features. Her cold hands still intertwined in JJ's warm ones. At this time, she wasn't sure if it was her comforting JJ, or if it was the other way around. Having JJ's soft hands in her own felt so good, so right.

"Emily…" Prentiss was brought back from her thoughts by the soft calling of her first name. She glanced up to meet those bright blue eyes once again, "… Thank you."

Still kneeling down on the floor, Emily raised her right hand and removed a few strands of blonde hair away from JJ's face, then resting the palm of her hand on the younger woman's cheek, fondly. She leaned in closer, shortening the distance between them. JJ didn't move, she just kept staring deep into Emily's dark eyes, as if she could see into the brunette's soul, read her thoughts and feelings. But Emily wasn't going to keep her out. Not in that moment. She wasn't concerned about letting JJ know how much she wanted to claim her lips with her own right there. She wasn't concerned in hiding that strong desire that kept building stronger and stronger inside of her. She normally wouldn't let it happen; she normally would know this was wrong. But those blue eyes were keeping her conscience from doing its job.

They were no more than 5 inches apart when Emily closed her eyes, breaking the bond between her's and JJ's. It was like someone had just poured a giant bucket of cold water on top of her. And her conscience stroke back at her. What was she doing? She was supposed to be there to comfort JJ, not to comfort herself and confuse the blonde.

Emily drew back, eyes still closed. She wasn't ready to face whatever expression was on JJ's face.

"I could use a glass of water… Do you want me to bring you one?" The brunette said, as she stood up from the floor.

She was heading to the kitchen when she felt a hand grabbing her arm and making her spin in her heals. Emily wasn't ready for what happened next. Two silk hands involved her face and neck, and a pair of soft, wet and salty lips crushed against hers.

Emily needed a moment to process what was happening. JJ was kissing her. And she was just frozen. _'Do something Prentiss…'_ But what should she do?

Her body didn't give her mind a chance to answer. Wrapping her arms around JJ's tiny waist, Emily pulled the younger woman's body closer to hers and kissed her. The kiss was intense, but tender. And Emily could still taste JJ's tears in her lips.

Gosh, how many times had she dreamt about kissing those sweet lips again.

Eventually they broke the kiss, if for nothing else, the need for oxygen obliged to do so.

"You can open your eyes now, Em." JJ said shyly after a few seconds after they kissed.

"I can't." Emily whispered. "I'm scared that if I open my eyes, I'll wake up and find out that this is just another dream."

Emily heard JJ chuckle lightly. "Well, there's only one way to find out..."


	4. Garcia, the secret keeper

With her arms still around the brunette's neck, JJ uttered again, brushing her lips against Emily's. "Open your eyes Emily…"

In her dreams, Prentiss couldn't remember seeing JJ's bright blue eyes. Not in a single one. But she obeyed, and when she opened her eyes, there they were, those two shiny sapphires adorning JJ's stunning features.

"You're so beautiful." Emily whispered.

This time, a genuine smile crossed JJ's lips. She lowered her head, looking away as she blushed slightly.

The smile vanished quickly, though. Wherever JJ's gaze dropped, it made her features change completely. Her eyes were wide open and she slowly withdrew her hands from Emily's neck, and turned her back on her.

Emily furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She watched as JJ turned her back on her. She could see the blonde covering her mouth with a tremulous hand. The brunette then looked behind her own back, trying to identify what caused this sudden change in JJ's behavior.

It wasn't hard to figure out.

In a cabinet behind her was a portrait. Two loving parents giving their son a kiss in each cheek. The young blonde boy, in the middle, had one arm around each of his parents' shoulders, and the most joyful smile ever. It was JJ, Henry and Will. Behind her was a portrait of JJ's family.

Emily cursed herself in that moment.

"JJ, I'm sorry." She didn't know what else she should say. "Do you want me to leave? I can leave now, if you want…" Emily rambled, worriedly.

The blonde nodded, but she didn't say a word.

"Will you be O.K?" Prentiss asked.

Another nod.

Emily sighed. She walked up to JJ and stroked her back softly. The blonde didn't move. "I'm sorry." Apologizing didn't seem the right thing to say, but it was all Prentiss could say. She meant to say much more than those two words. But she couldn't. Not then.

* * *

 

"Hey sweet cheeks, can you come into my lair of wisdom?" JJ's mind was brought out of the pile of paperwork she had in front of her, and all the thoughts swirling around her head, when a not as cheerful as usual Penelope Garcia interrupted her. She stared at the blonde analyst for a while. "… like, now?" Garcia added to her already finished invite.

There was no saying no to Garcia's imperative tone. She followed Penelope's quick pace into her office.

"Shut the door, please." Garcia demanded, as she sat down in her chair.

JJ did as she was told, and leaned her back onto the door, with her eyes wide open, brows up, looking directly to her friend, not understanding what was going on. Garcia didn't wait long to fill her in on the issue.

"Ok, let's make this clear, I may not be a profiler but, oh can I tell when something's wrong with my cupcakes? Yes I can." The furry colorful decorations in her hair wiggled side to side as she spoke frantically "So you tell me, right here, right now, what the problem between you and Prentiss is, Jennifer Jareau. Because for the past three days I have not seen you speak to each other unless it's extremely necessary! You don't even say good bye to each other at the end of the day, like you do to everyone else! What the hell is going on, Jayje?" Penelope said. She waited for JJ's answer to come out.

JJ sighed.

"Do you promise not to tell this to anyone?" JJ asked her. Garcia nodded. "Garcia, I'm serious! Promise me you won't say a word about this to anyone!"

"Not even Morgan?" The tech asked bashful.

"Especially not to Morgan, Penelope!"

"Okay, you have my word." Garcia finally declared.

The blonde agent took a deep breath.

"Do you remember that night the three of us were at my house, drinking and playing Never Have I Ever?" She waited for Garcia's nod, and then continued. "When you went to sleep... Emily… I… We-we kissed." She prepared for the techs reaction, like she was seeing a soccer ball coming directly at her and she couldn't escape from the impact.

She spotted a clear surprise expression on Penelope's face, but she didn't seem to take it that badly.

"Oh, ok… but is that what this is all about? That was like over a month ago, and I'm sure it was just a booze thing. You don't have to worry about it. " Penelope started, but was interrupted by JJ, who was already shaking her head.

"No, no, Garcia! The problem is... I kissed her _again_ and I was far from drunk!" JJ almost shouted. Garcia's expression went from slightly surprised to confused.

"Wha- when?" Garcia asked.

"The night we came back from Texas. With all that happened there, I didn't want to be alone. So she went home with me, to keep me company, to comfort me, and then I just - I don't know, there was this moment when everything else blurred in my head, and all I could think was…" JJ let her back slide on the door behind her till she was sitting on the floor, hand's covering her eyes, "... it- it just happened. _I_ kissed her."

Garcia was slightly in shock. She didn't know what to say. And the question that occurred to her was probably the less appropriate. But she couldn't keep it in.

"Does Will know?"

JJ's stare shot up.

"What? No! Of course not! Why would I tell him? This does mean anything, ok? I'll work this out. On my own." JJ replied.

It was Garcia's turn to shake her head.

"Ok, ok. Fine. But, is this your idea of working things out? Ignoring Emily, not saying a single word to her? C'mon cupcake, you know that's not the right way to handle things."

* * *

 

Emily Prentiss got home from another boring day of work. She placed her keys and her handbag in the small stand next to her apartment's door. She took off her black boots and her navy blue peacoat, leaving it in the hanger. She went to her room and got changed into her pajama set, a bright pink vest and blue and pink checked shorts.

Suddenly Prentiss heard the door bell ring. It was probably Miss Mattison, her neighbor, asking if she'd need her to look after Sergio tomorrow.

She didn't even bother to look throw the door's peephole.

However, when she opened the door, it wasn't Miss Mattison standing in the hallway, it was…

"JJ…"


	5. What she wants

Emily petrified, mouth open in surprise, when she saw the woman standing in front of her, dressed in a pale blue button-up shirt and jeans. Blonde hair falling freely over her shoulders.

"JJ, what are you doing here?" She managed to ask, still recovering from the blonde's apparition at her doorstep.

"Can I come in?" JJ asked.

It was hard to read any emotion in JJ's features. Maybe because there were so many invading her at the same time.

Prentiss nodded. She stepped aside so JJ could get in, and then closed the door. Only then Emily remembered she was only wearing her pajama top and shorts. Suddenly she felt a bit too exposed, and that made her slightly uncomfortable.

Emily remained by the door, watching as JJ walked over to the dark brown couch and sat down. _'What the hell is she doing here?'_

"Do you want something to drink? Coffee? Tea? Or, if you're hungry I might have something on the fridge…" Emily rambled. _'Shut up Prentiss, you sound like you mother.'_

JJ chuckled.

"No, I'm fine. I just want to talk to you." And just like that she was serious again.

The brunette sat down on the same couch, keeping a convenient distance. Not too close, but also not too far. As Emily felt JJ's eyes wander over her legs, for just a second, she felt even more _uncomfortable_. Was uncomfortable the right word?

"Talk...About what?" Prentiss asked vaguely.

JJ rolled her eyes.

"Oh c'mon Emily, you know what about." She waited for Emily to intervene, but the dark haired woman remained as still as possible, waiting for her to continue. JJ sighed. "Emily, we have to work this out. Even Penelope has already noticed that there's something wrong between us. And we can't just be at work, entire days, without saying a word to each other. Can we just pretend none of it happened, like we did the first time?"

Emily laughed.

"Can we?" She looked at JJ, skeptically. Her dark eyes piercing into JJ's fragile blue's. "Jayje, why exactly are you here?"

The question left JJ confused.

"I told you already, I want us to go back to what we were before we…" The blonde started, but was interrupted by Emily.

"No you don't." Emily said, shaking her head, without ever breaking contact with JJ's eyes. She scooted beside her on the couch… closer.

JJ's breathing became heavier with the sudden distance decrease between their bodies, and she flinched. Her eyes were drawn by some invisible force, and she couldn't help but stare at Emily's exposed legs and chest. She forced herself to look back into the brunette's eyes.

"You didn't come to my apartment, at night, to tell me something that could be said anywhere else, even in the BAU's bullpen." Emily continued.

JJ looked away, fixing her gaze in the window on the other side of the room. _'This was a bad idea.'_ She thought.

Emily placed one hand on JJ's knee. She felt the blonde stiff at her touch.

"Why are you here, JJ? To tell me that what happened at your place was nothing?" The brunette's hand trailed off JJ's knee and she started caressing the blonde's arm with her fingertips, from hand to shoulder, and back down.

"Emily, don't…" JJ quivered. But the brunette insisted. Gently, she grabbed JJ's chin, making the blonde look at her.

"To tell me we can be just friends again? Well, I can't be just friends with you JJ. Not anymore." Prentiss leaned closer, brushing her lips against JJ's cheek, and then whispering into her ear. "Because I want you and I can't stop thinking about you, JJ."

Those last words sent a shiver through JJ's body, and she let out a silent moan.

The brunette nipped JJ's ear softly with her lips, then trailing butterfly kisses down her neck. She could hear JJ's breathing quicken at each contact. The pattern of kisses repeated itself in the inverse way, till her lips were again near the blonde's ear. She licked JJ's lobe lightly, and then whispered again.

"Tell me you don't want this. Tell me you want me to stop. And I'll stop."

Using one hand to support her own weight on the couch, she used the other to push on JJ's chest, making the blonde lay down almost completely in the couch. She looked deeply into those beautiful blue eyes that could pierce her heart and stop her brain. Her hand ran up and down JJ's side, almost accidentally brushing the blonde woman's breast with her thumb.

"What do you want, JJ?" Emily asked.

JJ brought one hand to Emily's cheek, then letting it trail down, slowly, caressing her neck, her collarbone and her chest.

"I want you, Em."


	6. Should we go to my bedroom?

_I want you, Em._ The words echoed in Emily's brain. Had she heard it right?

Not fully acknowledging what was driving her, Emily dove her head to catch JJ's lips with hers. The desire for the woman beneath her growing with every touch, every move, every word, especially those four JJ had just said.

Emily angled her head, trailing the warm tip of her tongue over the blonde's lips, in a silent request for entrance. JJ gasped and Emily deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue through JJ's parted lips. Their tongues met, in a sinuous and electrifying dance.

Emily broke the kiss, panting for oxygen. She stared at the breathless beauty in front of her eyes. The blonde lifted her head from the couch pillow it was resting on, trying to capture Emily's soft and swollen lips again. But Emily deflected, and smiled. Then, the brunette lowered her head to JJ's ear. Her still hasty breath sending cold shivers down JJ's spine.

"Should we go to my bedroom?" Emily asked in a whisper.

She should have said no, she should have never went there, she should go back to her house. But her house was empty. What was she going to do in the house, all alone? Spend the night thinking about Emily? Rocking herself to sleep while fantasies about them both crept into her mind? Why would she go home, if she could have Emily there, in her arms, make her fantasies come true?

 _Fuck it_. She'd think about the consequences later. Right now, the tingling butterflies in her stomach and the electric feel that ran up and down her body every time Emily touched her were blocking those thoughts.

She nodded.

Emily kissed the tip of JJ's nose before getting up from the couch, pulling her up by her button up shirt.

The brunette slipped her hands to JJ's back, pulling their bodies closer with a swift but gentle move. JJ stared into her eyes. They were dark with desire, letting JJ know how much she was wanted, craved. She could see it, and it made her knees quiver for an instant.

JJ brought one hand to caress Emily's cheek, tracing the brunette's bottom lip with her thumb.

"Are you sure about this?" Emily's voice came more fragile than she expected, scared of the answer that waited on the other end.

Another nod, followed by JJ's soft lips colliding with hers.

Tongues and lips glided against each other, as Emily started to guide JJ towards the bedroom. Without ever breaking the kiss, Emily brought her hands to the buttons of the blonde's shirt, opening it, button after button, exposing the tingling skin beneath it. When all of the buttons were undone, Emily removed the shirt from JJ's shoulders, letting it fall to the floor of the living room.

Knowing that the bedroom door was near, Emily guided the blonde a few steps to the left. When JJ felt her back hit the wall and the pressure of Emily's body against hers, she moaned. Her pulse hammering.

Emily's lips had left hers and were now kissing her neck, sucking on her pulse point, licking all the length of her neck and jawline.

"Emily…" JJ moaned, as she wrapped her arms around the brunette's shoulders, not trusting her knees to hold her any longer. She felt Emily's exposed thigh against her jean covered legs, rubbing against her core, heating her inside out and driving her mad with desire.

The blonde tried to invert the situation, but Emily was definitely stronger than she was. The taller woman pinned JJ's arms above her head and against the wall, in one swift motion.

"Easy, tiger. I'm in control here, JJ."

Holding JJ's hands in place with only one hand, Emily used the other one to trail down the blond woman's exposed abdomen. When Emily reached the hem of JJ's jeans, a breath got caught up on the blonde's throat.

Taking advantage of the younger profiler's parted lips, Emily slid her tongue inside her mouth. JJ growled, her back arching from the wall whilst she grinded her legs against the brunette's thigh.

Emily knelt down in front of her. Without ever breaking eye contact with the blonde, she started kissing her belly, running her hands up and down JJ's legs, getting closer to the inside of her thighs every time. JJ was breathless, holding herself to the wall behind her, as if letting go meant the wall would fall on top of her, crushing her there. Emily locked her hand on JJ's belt. She waited for the blonde's approval, and as it was immediately given, she undid it and threw it to the floor.

JJ pulled the brunette up, kissing her, whilst tangling her fingers in her raven hair. Emily undid JJ's jeans and slowly slid them off of her. Once she had JJ in just her underwear, Emily took a second to appreciate the beauty in front of her. Never had she imagined that what was happening could actually happen.

She grabbed JJ's hand, intertwining their fingers, and lead the blonde through her bedroom's door, to her bed.

"Lie down, baby." Emily said softly once they were standing at the edge of the bed.

JJ obeyed.

As she lied on the bed, Emily took of her shorts and her top, revealing her large, beautiful breasts. JJ's throat dried. It didn't take long for Emily to start crawling on top of her, kissing every inch of skin as she went. The brunette's bare breasts lightly touching her body. JJ could feel how hard her nipples were, as they teased her already fervent skin.

Kissing the tops of JJ's breasts that heaved against her bra _,_ Emily reached behind her back and unclasped it. She removed JJ's bra and teased her nipples with delicate nibbles.

"You're driving me insane, Em." JJ managed to say, in between shaky breaths.

"That's exactly what I intend to do." Emily replied, her hand slowly moving down lower on JJ's body, gently rubbing the woman's folds through her panties.


	7. Coming undone

JJ didn't manage to contain the moan that promptly escaped her throat as soon as Emily started caressing her center. The only barrier between her sensitive skin and Emily's fingers being that thin piece of fabric, which would not take long to end up on Emily's bedroom floor too.

The blonde ran her hands up and down Emily's body, in an attempt to gain some control, whilst the brunette kept nipping and kissing her earlobe and neck. And JJ felt it. The scar on Emily's abdomen. The physical mark of the bigger psychological scar that Doyle created on the brunette's soul. Her hand stood for a second on top of the scar, but Emily's hand promptly pulled it away. She wanted to say something. But she let it slide, for now.

The blonde arched her back off the bed as Emily started kissing down her body, slowly. Her free hand gently massaging JJ's breasts. JJ's breathing became even heavier when Emily's kisses reached the hem of her panties. JJ lifted her hips from the bed to allow the dark eyed woman to take them off.

Emily kissed the inside of JJ's thighs, her hand doing the same warm up job by caressing them, getting closer to JJ's silk folds every time. The blonde spread her legs.

"Emily, please…"

"What is it, Jennifer?" Emily asked, in between kisses that got closer to where JJ needed her the most. And Emily knew that by using JJ's first name she'd tease her that little more.

"I- I want you…" JJ said.

"But I'm here, baby." Emily kept teasing. She wanted to hear JJ say it.

"I want you… inside of me, Emily." JJ looked down into Emily's eyes, and whispered. "Please." She brought one hand to fumble in Emily's raven hair.

A small smile formed on Emily's lips.

JJ watched Emily break eye contact and then her tongue was there, running the length of her wet centre. A strangled cry slipped out of the blonde's mouth. Her elbow couldn't hold the weight of her upper body anymore, as Emily kept flicking her tongue in her core. She closed her eyes and lied back on the pillows whilst tightening the grip on Emily's hair.

Emily started sucking the blonde's sensitive nub.

Even in her most vivid dreams Emily never imagined how good having JJ moaning at her touch would be. How wonderfully she tasted. She was already addicted to the smell of JJ's skin, to the taste of her.

Emily knew JJ was already close to coming undone in her arms. So she slowly inserted one finger inside of her. JJ's hips bucked in the air, but Emily used one arm to hold her still. As JJ started screaming her name, Emily added a second finger. Thrusting both fingers back and forth, a little bit faster each time.  
Keeping the rhythm and force of the thrusts, Emily started to crawl up JJ's body, sucking and nipping at each one of her breasts. JJ's hips began to move with Emily's fingers. She wrapped her arm around the brunette's shoulders, scrapping her nails down her back and biting down onto Emily's shoulder, not too hard, but hard enough so that Emily would understand what she wanted, what she needed.

Emily increased the speed of her thrusts, and kissed JJ's lips, stifling her moans.  
She could feel JJ's walls tightening around her fingers.

"Emily!"

The brunette started circling her thumb around JJ's nub, while thrusting her two fingers inside of JJ.

"Baby, look at me. Don't close your eyes." Emily asked, as she added the last bit of pressure necessary. JJ did as she was told as she started feeling the waves of pleasure building fiercely in her stomach. JJ's body shuddered violently as her orgasm spread and the waves of pleasure crushed her. Her cobalt blue eyes fixed on Emily's, her mouth open in a silent scream. Emily progressively eased the thrusts, letting JJ ride her release till the last aftershock.

Emily lied down on JJ's side, whilst the blonde steadied her ragged breaths.

"Gosh, that was… breathtaking." JJ said, glancing at Emily and noticing the soft smile on the brunette's face. "But don't think we're done, Prentiss." JJ smiled back, rolling on top of Emily's nude body.


	8. Swear it off

JJ straddled Emily's hips, slowly lowering herself to kiss the brunette's flushed lips. She stopped when she noticed Emily wasn't really kissing her back.

"What?" JJ asked, with one eyebrow raised.

Emily smiled softly. "Nothing. Just wanted to take another look at the gorgeous, beautiful _and_ naked woman that is sitting on top of me right now. Did I mention she's beautiful?"

JJ replied with a shy smile, and lowered down once again to capture Emily's lips. Their tongues met in a sinuous dance. JJ felt Emily's hands travell down and gently squeezing her butt. She moaned into the kiss.

Hands started moving up and down each others bodies, JJ's lips trailing kisses down the brunette's neck and collarbone, as the tension between them grew hotter once again. JJ took the chance to evaluate Emily's reaction again, when she touched the scar in her abdomen. Instinctively, Emily sat up on the bed, with JJ still straddling her legs, and she caught the blonde's wrists with her hands.

Hurt dark brown eyes locked with startled blue ones.

"JJ, don't touch… there. Please." Emily asked.

JJ noticed the slight tremble in her voice. And she saw, in Emily's eyes, all the pain and bad memories that flood her mind just by addressing those scars. In that short minute, JJ wondered what it'd be like to have to live with the reminder of your worst days craved in you body, everyday. She didn't want Emily to feel like that.

"Emily-" JJ started, but Emily interrupted her.

"Please. Don't. Let's continue what we were doing, and just skip _that_ … Please, JJ." Emily said, trying her best to give the blonde an unworried smile, and trying to catch her lips once again.

"No, Emily." JJ said, placing a soft kiss on the brunette's lips, whilst pushing her back to bed with one hand. She licked her way down Emily's body, from her lips, to her neck, leaving a soft kiss on the four-leaf clover branded on Emily's chest, and then continuing licking south, around the brunette's navel, and then kissing the area of the scar, softly. "These scars are a part of you…" JJ kept kissing Emily's abdomen, as her hands caressed the brunette's breasts.

"No, they are reminders of how weak and stupid I was. And they make me ugly… fragile." Emily cut her off, biting down her lip to prevent a moan to escape her throat.

"They shouldn't." JJ said, continuing to kiss and lick Emily's belly. "They should remind you of how strong you are." She crawled up Emily's body, to look into her eyes. "You went through so much, and you survived. _He_ might have shattered you back then, but you're still here, you're still alive. You are still here to feel this…" JJ said as she sucked Emily's pulse point. JJ's thigh lightly rubbing against the lace panties that covered Emily's sex.

Emily closed her eyes whilst her arms wrapped up around JJ's body, bringing their bodies that bit closer. Bolts of pleasure ran throw them as each inch of soft skin touched each other.

"Emily, you are beautiful." JJ whispered, attracting Emily's eyes back to hers. The pure smile on the blonde's lips assuring Emily that she was being honest.

"Are we done with all the talking?" Emily asked, smiling back at the blonde.

"I just have one more thing to say…" JJ admitted, sheepishly, as she knelt by Emily's side, on the bed. She lowered herself to nib on Emily's ear before she continued. "Well, you know… this is my first time with a woman. I'm not sure if I'll know what to do, or if I'll be good at it."

Emily let out a small chuckle. She grabbed JJ's chin with one hand, kissing JJ's lips. "You're doing a pretty damn good job turning me on, already. It'll come naturally to you."

"Ok. But you have to stay still, Agent Prentiss. It's my turn to have control over you." JJ said, as she slowly brought one hand to the hem of Emily's panties, teasing her way down, feeling Emily's muscle contract as she went. Emily nod. The seductive look on JJ's face and her hand so close to where Emily wanted her, made the brunette moan, and her back arched off the bed, begging for more contact. But JJ was determined to take it slowly. She made her way to Emily's left breast, swirling her tongue around the woman's nipple as it hardened with arousal, whilst kneading the other breast with her hand.

Emily could feel her centre throbbing in time with the lick of JJ's tongue.

"Jayje…" The brunette groaned.

The blonde trailed a path of kisses down Emily's body, making sure she'd caress every inch of skin. When she reached the brunette's panties, she blew on her skin. The cold air sending a shiver through Emily's body, making her look down into JJ's cobalt blue eyes. There was desire spread all over those mesmerizing orbs. Emily watched, her mouth partially open, as JJ bit the small scrap of lace and started to pull it down. _'Oh God… Is this really happening? I must be dreaming...'_ The brunette thought. She lifted her hips to let the piece of fabric be pulled off her legs. When JJ managed to finally get rid of the lace panties, she pressed soft kisses to Emily's inner thighs. She felt the brunette's body tensed in anticipation, her legs spreading wider before her.

"Fuck, JJ!" Emily moaned.

JJ rubbed her fingers over Emily's wetness, her thumb circling the brunette's swollen nub.

"Jay… please, baby."

Answering to Emily's request, JJ thrust two fingers inside of her. Emily gasped.

JJ plunged her finger in and out, at a slow pace that quickly became hastier and rougher.

"Oh fuck…" Emily swung her head back and gripped the bed sheets as the pleasure became almost unbearable.

"I want you to cum for me, Emily." JJ told her, as she flicked her tongue over the brunette's clit. Emily's scent and taste overwhelming the blonde's senses.

"Jayj- I'm so close... Don't stop." Emily panted.

Finally the pressure became too much. Emily felt it spread through her body. Her skin burned as the power of the orgasm burst over her. JJ's fingers circled lightly over Emily's nub, prolonging her release. The blonde's lips kissed the soft skin of the brunette's thighs.

With a last butterfly kiss to Emily's quivering centre, JJ crawled up in bed, entwining her self in Emily's embrace. The brunette kissed her intensely.

"For your first time, you were reasonably good…" Emily said, with a "not bad" expression on her face.

"Reasonably good?!" JJ asked, affronted. "From all your moaning and cursing, I'm pretty sure I was better than _reasonably good,_ Emily Prentiss!" She continued, giving a small slap on the brunette's shoulder.

Emily laughed at the blonde's offended look. "I don't curse!"

"Ahah.. Of course you don't. I'm sorry to inform you but, _fuck_ is a swearword."


	9. The morning after

JJ woke up as the sunlight entered the bedroom window and hit her eyes. She rubbed her eyes, opening them slowly till they were adapted to the morning brightness. Looking around, JJ saw Emily peacefully sleeping beside her, only the white bed sheet covering her naked body. Emily's shoulders were uncovered though, and JJ saw the scratch marks made by her own nails.

" _What was I thinking?"_

Shaking her head, she silently got up, trying her hardest not to wake Emily up. She got out of the bedroom, into the living room, collecting her clothes on the way.

" _What the hell was I thinking?!"_ She repeated to herself.

The blonde looked around the room, unable to find her jeans, only to spot them a minute later right next to Emily's bedroom door. Flashbacks of Emily pinning her to that wall flood her mind. She tried to shake them out as she picked up her pants.

Reaching for her pants pocket, JJ found her phone. It was 7am. Will and her little boy, Henry, would arrive from New Orleans at 9am, and she had to pick them up from the airport. She wasn't ready for this. How was she supposed to face Will after she had cheated on him?

" _You screwed up, Jareau… big time…"_

She got dressed, and without looking back, she exited Emily's apartment, walked to her car and drove back to her house.  
After taking a quick shower and putting on new clothes, she drove to the airport, and waited for her family.

* * *

 

Prentiss woke up shortly after, realizing her bed was empty. She got up from bed, taking a silk beige robe from her closet, and wrapping herself with it. She walked through the apartment. There was no sign of JJ. Obviously she had left. With a deep sigh, Emily walked back to her room.

The brunette gathered her clothes and took a quick bath. When she was drying herself with the towel, her shoulder blade burned. Unaware of the cause of the stinging feeling in her back, she watched her reflection in the mirror. Four scratches, perfectly carved in her skin. Emily smiled whilst passing one finger through the scratches. It wasn't that bad. Probably would be gone the day after that. _"Just like JJ already did…"_

That had been the best night of her life. With whom she wanted the most. But as soon as she woke up, there she was, alone again, just like all those nights, after she woke up from her dreams.

Emily couldn't help herself, and she texted JJ.

'Good morning. Didn't even stay for coffee? You don't know what you missed xx Em.'

The reply came a few minutes later.

'Sorry. Had to pick Will and Henry from the airport. Talk to you at work. JJ'

" _There it is, reality strikes back…"_ Emily thought to herself, snuggling on the couch, trying to push everything out of her mind. She gazed once again into her cellphone screen. 9.10 am.  
 _"Shit! I'm late!"_

* * *

 

"Mommy!" JJ heard her son's voice in the middle of the crowd. She turned around and saw little Henry running towards her, his blond curls waving as he approached. And a cheerful William LaMontagne Jr right behind him.

"Hey buddy!" JJ greeted, picking her son up from the floor, and spinning him around, in her arms, hugging him tightly. Her heart melted. "Oh Henry, mommy missed you so much!"

"I missed you too mommy." Henry said, placing a soft kiss on his mom's cheek.

Will joined them, wrapping one arm around JJ's waist.

"Hey cher." Will said.

JJ looked into his fond smile and loving eyes. With only that, a sense of peace enveloped her and she forgot about everything else. That was why she loved him. He could do that to her, make her forget all the problems with nothing else but a smile. But this new _problem_ she created wasn't going to be that simple to forget. She blocked that thought.

The blonde locked her lips with his, in a tender kiss.

"Hey…" JJ said once they broke the kiss.

"Mommy, daddy and I brought you a _puesent_!" Henry said, starting to kick his legs, so that JJ would put him on the floor.

He reached for his backpack and took the wrapped present out of it.

JJ unwrapped it. It was a white apron, with jazz instruments and the phrase _With love, from New Orleans_ printed on it. A smile formed across her face.

"Oh, this is so sweet! I loved it, honey." She said, crouching down to place a kiss on her son's forehead.

"Daddy helped me choose it", the little boy said.

JJ looked at Will, who was grinning at them.

"Thank you, daddy", JJ said with a smile.

* * *

 

"Good morning Miss Late", Morgan grinned at Prentiss, "Was something unusual holding you in bed this morning?".

After saying good morning to Reid and Rossi too, Emily forced a smile back at Morgan. "I'd rather, but unfortunately no, I just slept through my alarm." She replied. _"Not lying and not telling the truth either"_

She thought for a moment how it would be to tell Morgan the whole story. That after kissing JJ twice, the blonde had showed up in her apartment last night, and they ended up having unexpected hot _sex_. _"Yep, he'd probably throw me in a mental institution."_

Reid and Rossi in the bullpen, Hotch in his upstairs office, Penelope was probably in her office too. But, where was JJ?

"Is JJ running late too?" She asked.

"No, she took the day off." Reid answered. "Will and Henry came back today from New Orleans."

"Oh I see why she took the day off!" Morgan utter, laughing. Reid had difficulties understanding the joke, so Morgan turned to Rossi as his ally. Prentiss managed a smirk and shook her head.

"You're such a jerk, Morgan." She said.

Emily suddenly felt her stomach turn. She discreetly walked out of the bullpen into the restrooms. She quickly washed her hands and her face, freshening up.

" _Talk to you at work, my ass."_ Emily cursed, remembering JJ text message.

The brunette knew she didn't have the right to be jealous, but the thought of JJ running back to Will's arms right after the night they had together, was hard to swallow, even knowing that _she_ was the wrong piece of the puzzle.


	10. The other side of the coin

"Hey, Henry is sleeping already", Will said, as he walked into their bedroom, where JJ was putting on her white satin nightdress, "It was a long day for him, he fell asleep instantly."

He grabbed JJ's waist and pushed her closer, her back turned to him.

"Oh yeah?" JJ asked.

Will moved her curly blonde hair to the side and kissed the back of her neck, running his hand slowly along her torso.

The minute JJ closed her eyes it wasn't Will she felt touching her. She imagined Emily there, holding her. As the memories flashed through her closed eyes, she immediately opened them, startled, her smile fading way. Will noticed it.

"What is it, cher?" He asked, worried. JJ blinked twice, before turning around in his arms, to face him, making sure it was really him there with her.

"Nothing." She said, before turning away, pushing the bed covers back and lying down on her side of the bed.

She was definitely not ready for this. She loved Will. But thoughts about Emily were flooding her mind again.

"You've been kind of off today. Is something wrong? At work, or something?" Will asked, whilst lying down on bed, facing her.

There noses were just a few inches apart. JJ caressed his cheek, playing with his stubble.

"You know I love you, right?" JJ asked, without looking into his light eyes.

Will frowned at her question.

"Hey, baby, why are you asking that? Of course I know that. I love you too!"

Noticing that it was a weird question to make, JJ tried to mend it. She looked deeply into his eyes.

"It's just… It's the second time you go to New Orleans with Henry this year, and.. God! I miss you so much!" She kissed his lips whilst a single tear escaped her blue orbs. There was so much more in that tear than what she was telling him. But he couldn't know.

Will immediately wiped the tear away, and wrapped one arm around JJ.

"Hey, cher. There's no need for this. I'm here now." He said, in his tender and flirty voice. "And I won't leave you any time soon. Actually, tonight I intend on holding you pretty tight.", Will said, as he pushed her body closer to his.


	11. Confrontation

The following morning JJ was the last one to arrive to the bullpen. It was very unlike her to come in late, but staying inside her car for ten minutes rehearsing on how-to-act-like-nothing-wrong-ever-happened didn't help her punctuality. Entering the BAU's bullpen meant confronting Emily and keeping the team unaware of what happened between them. And she didn't know how to do that.

Once the elevator doors opened, the blonde tried to seem as relaxed as she could. She entered the bullpen, and gazed around. Derek, Reid, Emily and Rossi were all there.

She took a deep breath and put on her very own JJ-smile.

"Good morning guys." She said.

They all greeted her back. All, except Emily, which merely gazed at her and looked back at the files she was holding.

"So, how was your night, JJ?" Morgan asked, a playful grin on his face. He was obviously referring to the fact that the day before she didn't go to work to stay with Henry and Will.

"That's none of your business, Morgan." JJ smiled at him, whilst putting down her suitcase and taking off her coat. Morgan laughed. Emily rolled her eyes.

At the end of another day of filling in paperwork, the BAU team started leaving the bullpen and heading home.

JJ and Hotch, as usual, were the last ones out. But this time, Emily stayed back, waiting for JJ.  
When they were leaving for the elevator, the brunette showed up.

"Hey JJ, can I talk to you for a second?"

JJ glanced at her, questioning her timing with just her gaze. She looked at Hotch, who said he had to go, and left both women alone.

The blonde waited for him to get in the elevator.

"Couldn't you have waited for another time to approach me? Did it have to be with Hotch right by my side?" JJ asked, with a shocked expression. She looked around, making sure no one else was in the bullpen.

Emily couldn't believe that those were the words that left JJ's mouth after an entire day without saying a word to her, two days actually, if she was to count the day before. She was speechless…

"Seriously JJ?"

Staring into Prentiss' hurt eyes made JJ retract her aggressive defense mechanism.

"I'm sorry Emily", the blonde pressed her hand against her forehead before letting it fall freely beside her body. "What do you expect me to do? I messed up… with you… I'm trying to…." JJ rabbled, but Emily interrupted her.

"You can't pretend like nothing happened between us, Jayje. It's not just a kiss anymore."

"I'm not pretending it didn't happen!" JJ exclaimed. She turned away, trying to calm herself.

Emily too was starting to get stirred.

"You're not? Is that why you didn't come to work yesterday? Is that why you haven't even looked at me today? Gosh JJ, you just ran back into Will's arms after you left _my_ bed! Can you imagine how that made me feel? Didn't it mean anything to you?"

JJ was walking back and forth. At Emily's last question she stopped on her heels and gazed at her. The blonde moved towards Emily, till they were just inches apart. Her voice came out no louder that a whisper.

"I love Will. I have a family with him, a son, a house. I can't ruin that! What happened between us was a big mistake, Emily. It should never have happened!"

Emily watched JJ's lips move as they sculpted those offending words. She shook her head.

"Then why did it happen JJ? Why did you come to my house the other night?" The brunette gently grabbed JJ's arms with her hands, pulling the other woman closer, "Why did we end up moaning each others names, JJ?" She continued.

But JJ flinched, moving away from Emily's grip.

"Emily, remember where you are. There are cameras here." The blonde dodged.

"Then just answer me!" Emily demanded.

JJ turned her back on Emily again. She started walking to the exit, in a quick pace. Emily noticed it, and she tried to stop the blonde.

"JJ, answer me!" Emily shouted, reaching out to grab JJ's right arm.

The blonde turned around in one swift move.

"I cannot have feelings for you, Emily. Don't you see?" JJ said, whilst freeing herself from Emily's grip and exiting the bullpen, leaving Emily behind, motionless.

Prentiss couldn't see it, but the moment JJ turned away, tears started forming in her eyes.


	12. Misconceptions

JJ woke up with her phone buzzing. Reluctantly, she stretched her arm and picked it up from the bed side table. It was 5am, and it was a text message from Penelope. She read it. _[Sorry to wake you sweat pie, but humanity needs us. Be in the conference room in an hour._ _Penelope]_

"Another case?" Will asked. He was lying on the other side of the bed. His voice muffled as his head was comfortably buried in the pillow.

"Yep, and it's probably not a good one…" JJ answered, "I'm sorry. I have to go." She kissed his shoulder blade, and crawled out of bed. Will stopped her by gently grabbing her wrist. She looked at him. His sleepy eyes gazing at her.

"Be careful out there, baby. I love you."

JJ smiled. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips. "You know I will."

* * *

 

Emily and Rossi were the last ones to arrive the BAU's conference room. The rest of the team was already sat and ready to hear Garcia's briefing. Emily took a seat right next to JJ. The blonde's body tensed and involuntarily shifted in her chair.

Once they were all settled, Garcia started talking and showing pictures on the screen behind her. Fayetteville, Arkansas. Three murders in four weeks. Alicia Mills, Sonya Crow and Judit Hudson, three female victims with ages between 19 and 23. Same _modus operandi_. Each of the three girls, was found in a city park, naked, strangled and sexually assaulted, arms pinned above their heads, with a stab mark in each hand, from the knife that had been keeping them there.

"The unsub kills them and then rapes them?" Morgan asked.

Garcia shivered. "Correct…"

"Necrophilia can have different causes, 68% of the cases are motivated by a desire for an unrejecting partner, before and after the sex act, but there are other less common cases motivated by the simple attraction to corpses, or the illusion of reunion with a deceased lover, or simply the feeling of power over the corpse. Did you know necrophilia happens between animals too?" Reid stated.

"This is why I love my machines so much…" The analyst muttered.

"The first crime occurred four weeks ago, the other two both occurred during last week. He's escalating, and we need to stop him. We'll keep discussing the case on the plane. Wheels up in thirty." Hotch said.

Thirty minutes later, the entire time, minus Garcia, were on the jet.

The plane ride to Arkansas was spent discussing all the details they knew about the case. Two of the victims were students at the University of Arkansas, the other one was a barmaid at a local club. No apparent connection. The girls were all abducted at night, supposedly when returning to their homes, but the abduction sites where very distant from the crime scenes, which meant the unsub had a vehicle to transport them. He would then take them to the parks, kill and have sex with their dead bodies. The DNA and fingerprints found in the crime scenes didn't get a positive match. And there where also no obvious relation between the abduction and crime sites, for any of the three victims.

When the BAU team arrived the local police department they were readily installed in a room, and Hotch settled the distribution of his agents, so they could start getting more information about the case.

Emily looked at JJ. She was wishing Hotch would send them together, so that she could talk to the blonde once and for all. She hated that tense atmosphere between them, they hadn't spoken properly since that burst out in the bullpen. Their conversations had remained on a strictly need-to-be basis. And she was sure some of her colleagues, if not all of them, had already noticed something was off.

"Rossi and I will go talk to the victims' families", Hotch announced, "Morgan, you and Emily go to the University where Sonya and Alicia studied and the club where Judit worked. Reid, you and JJ will stay here; work on the geographic profile and other useful leads."

Emily sigh was almost imperceptible to others. _"There goes your chance to speak with JJ alone."_ She thought to herself, disappointed.

Morgan entered the black SUV in the passenger's seat.

Emily stopped for a moment, questioning his behavior. "Derek, are you drunk or something?"

"Just get in the car!" He laughed. Prentiss obeyed. She closed the door and started the engine.

Emily insisted. "Seriously, you _always_ want to take the wheel. What's up with you today?"

"I'm just trying to break the mold, and let you drive without you even asking for once. Is that a bad thing?" He answered, smiling. The brunette shrugged, smiling back.

When they got to the University's parking lot, Emily turned off the car's engine and was about to open he door when Morgan spoke.

"Emily, can I ask you something?" He said.

She looked at him, wondering what he was going to talk about, without answering with words. He took her silence has a yes, and asked his question.

"What's going on between you and JJ?"

 _Shit_! She forced her best what-are-you-talking-about look. "What do you mean?" She deflected.

"Oh c'mon Emily! JJ isn't looking at you or talking to you normally for the past three or four days. And you look at her like you're trying to apologize for something, all the time." He said.

Emily looked into the horizon, this being the cars parked in front of their SUV. "I hadn't realized we were profiling each others now. Thought that was one of the team's rules." She said in disapproval.

"Emily, I'm not profiling you, or anyone, I'm just concerned with two of my best friends and colleagues." He paused. Emily didn't reply, so he made the question that was really his goal. "Prentiss, did you and Will have an affair?"

Emily's gaze went straight back to Morgan's face, in a tenth of a second, slack-jawed.

"WHAT?"


	13. Jet on land

"What? Are you insane? " Prentiss flipped. How could he think that she had an affair with Will? _Oh Morgan, you are looking at this from the wrong angle, my friend._ She thought whilst still trying to understand how he could have made such an absurd assumption.

At Emily's reaction, Morgan held up his arms in surrender. He offended her. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't think that you would have done it, but it was the only explanation that I found to this recent awkward tension between you and JJ. I didn't mean to offend you."

Prentiss was still looking at him with wide eyes and open mouth. She shook her head quickly, trying to make sense of what Morgan had just said. "Oh, so you notice that JJ's upset with me over something and you automatically jump to the conclusion that I screwed her boyfriend?! Really, Morgan?" The brunette opened the door and tried to get out of the car. But she forgot to take off her seat belt, so she was pulled back to the car seat. "Damn it!" She cursed.

"Emily please, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. I just wanted to be sure this was not a possibility." He put a had on her shoulder and squeezed gently. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have even considered the possibility. Please, forgive me."

After taking a deep breath, she looked back at him.

"Fine. You're forgiven. Now, shut up, and let's worry about the case we have to solve." She unbuckled her seat belt and this time got out of the car successfully.

"Emily, but I'd still like to know what's going on with you two..." Morgan pushed as he exited the SUV.

The brunette wondered what she should answer to leave Morgan less suspicious and get him off the bait. She stopped in front of him, resting both hands on his strong shoulders. "Morgan, listen. I have not done anything to harm JJ, specially having an affair with Will, that one would never cross my mind. I still don't understand how you could have thought that. This stress between me and JJ, it is just a small misunderstanding. I just have to talk to her, and I'm sure everything will be okay. You don't have to worry about it." She gave him a reassuring smile.

"Fine, I'll drop the subject. Let's go." Morgan said, putting one arm around Emily's shoulders as they started walking towards the University's buildings.

After a few hours, the team members joined to combine the information they acquired and prepare the profile. Hotch and Rossi found out that Judit, the barmaid, used to go to a bar that was restricted to college students, after her shift was over, to get a drink and talk to a boy she was dating. Even not being a student, she could get in, probably because of the boyfriend's contacts. Garcia found out that the other two victims usually hang out the same bar. They started thinking that the unsub was obviously someone who worked or frequented that bar often and used it as the spot to targeted the three women. But combining workers and costumers, the suspects list was still too big.

"We found a curious thing." JJ said to the rest of the team, "while looking at the geographic profile and the estimated time of each abduction, we noticed a pattern. "

Reid continued. "We asked Garcia to check the three city park's security companies, only to find out that the same company is in charge of the three parks. The parks are large in area, and the security personnel isn't, so the patrols don't cover all places at the same time. The spots where he committed the crimes were not over watch at the time the EMI's reports put him there. He knew the guards routes, and he knew how much time he had to commit the crimes comfortably."

The team concluded that he was probably a college student that worked a part-time job as a city park security guard. Garcia ran her fingers over her binary machines, and she got a hit. 25 years old Greg Mauser.

Jointly with the Fayetteville Police Department, they were able to catch the unsub successfully. By the time they did it was already 22 pm.

After the arrest, they got back to the police station to grab their bags and get on the jet to return home. But Hotch brought not so joyful news. "Listen guys, looks like our pilot has a gastroenteritis and isn't able to fly us home. They will send another pilot tomorrow so, we'll have to sleep in a hotel here, tonight."

They all sighed.

"Do we at least have the right to a room each? I state right here that I refuse to sleep with any of the men present in this room! You'll never know who can jump to your bed during the night." Morgan said, with a playful grin.

Hotch ensured him that all of them would sleep in separate rooms.

"Ok then, as we are doomed to stay here for the night, even if we caught the unsub in less than 24 hours, I propose we go out for a drink! Who's in?"

"I'm in!" Reid said, putting his arm up a bit too excitedly.

The others laughed.

Emily, Rossi and Hotch agreed with the idea as well. Only JJ didn't.

"Come on JJ, it'll be fun! I'll buy you a drink if you come with us!" Rossi offered, trying to persuade her.

"I'm sorry guys, I'll pass this one. I'm tired and I not really in the mood. I'll go to my hotel room and rest." No, that was definitely not the real reason why she didn't want to go. She didn't want to spend the entire night pretending everything was normal and friendly between her and Emily. Besides, she knew how Emily could be instinctive when she had a little too much alcohol in her system. She knew how _she_ , herself, could be too instinctive as well. What if something happened, even if just a stare that would last longer or be deeper than it should? Hotch, Morgan, Rossi, probably even Reid would figure everything out in a second. And that could not happen, she wouldn't let it. "But I won't forget that you offered me a drink, Rossi. I'll take it next time." She smiled.

Emily was disappointed at JJ's back down. She wanted her to go with them. She wanted to see her smile, she wanted to see JJ lean against the counter as she asked the bartender for a discount on their drinks. Emily wanted to watch her dance, to watch the defined lines of her perfect, toned body move smoothly to the music, to see her blonde locks wave in the saturated air of the dance floor, to see the glow of her sweaty skin. She wondered if she'd ever touch JJ's soft skin again.

The brunette was pulled out of her thoughts by Morgan playfully wrapping one arm around her shoulders once again. "Let's start moving! I'm thirsty!" He said with a smirk. The others followed.

The brunette looked around as they exited the building. JJ was already entering the taxi that would drive her to the hotel. Emily sighed. Without JJ's presence she didn't really want to go to go out anymore. But if she left now, it would probably draw unwanted attention.

"Hi, I'm sorry to be intruding but I heard your conversation." A young police officer said from behind the group. "There is a really cool club near the hotel where you're staying. I thought maybe you'd like to know that." The woman said, smiling shyly towards Derek Morgan. Emily grinned. Human beings could be so obvious some times.

They thanked the young officer's help, and left.

"Didn't you ask the girl's phone number? I'm shocked Morgan!" Rossi grinned.

Morgan laughed and just shook his head.

The officer wasn't lying when she said the bar was close to their hotel. It was literally on the other side of the road, right in front of it.

The team sat around a table and had a few drink while telling jokes and talking about the most diverse subjects. It would actually have been a fun night for Emily, like it was being for the rest of the team, if it wasn't for the fact that the only thing she could think about was a certain blonde piece of heaven. She cursed her brain for not being able to block the thoughts of JJ from her head.

One hour later, the boys were still all amused and, well, a bit drunk. But Emily was tired of being there. She wasn't enjoying the night. She had to talk to JJ. And she was determined not to waste another day.

She apologized to Hotch, Rossi, Reid and Morgan, saying she was going to her room, to sleep. Well, it wasn't properly a lie. She would just make a little stop before that.


	14. Wrong or right?

Emily stepped inside the hotel lobby. The wooden ceiling and the rustic furniture gave it a warm and cozy look. The brunette went to the reception desk, took out her ID and badge and asked what her room number was. The young man, in a nice grey suit with the hotel's logo embroidered in the jacket's patch pocket, gave her the room key. Emily was about to turn around and head to the elevator, but she stopped and addressed to the receptionist once again, asking if he could tell her in what room Jennifer Jareau was sleeping.

"I'm sorry, but when Agent Jareau arrived, she told me specifically she didn't want to be disturbed. So I'm not allowed to give you that information, ma'am." The young man said politely.

' _You might be clever, but I am too, Agent Jareau'_ Emily said to herself. "Yes, I understand. But that's exactly why I'm concerned about her and want to check on her. She wasn't feeling well in the afternoon, so I just want to see if she's ok. Don't worry, I'm sure she won't mind." _White lies won't hurt you, right_? The receptionist eventually gave in. JJ's room was just two rooms apart from Emily's. She bet those rooms in between would be for two of the others.

Emily stood in front of JJ's room door, hand held up, ready to knock. But she hesitated. She stared at her watch. It was already 1 am. JJ was probably asleep. _You don't want to wake nor startle her._ She clenched her jaws, not sure what to do. She wanted to talk to JJ. To see her face. _To kiss her… Ok, that's enough!_ She ordered her brain to stop derailing. But what should she do? The brunette placed the palm of her hand in the wooden door of JJ's room, and sighed.

She was about to leave when she heard her phone buzz. It was a text message… from JJ. Her heart skipped a beat. She read it: 'What are you doing? _'_

That she wasn't expecting. Did JJ know she was standing just outside her door? How did she know?

Before Emily could answer the text message, JJ opened the door. She was wearing a baby blue silk pajama that perfectly matched her eyes. Caught by surprise, Emily just stood there, mouth half-open, not knowing what to say.

"I knew it was you." JJ sighed, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. "What do you want, Emily?"

As JJ leaned against the door frame, the hallway's light lit up her face, against the darkness of the room, and Emily studied it. The blonde looked drained out of energy, with bloodshot eyes. Was it just lack of sleep or had she been crying? Had she been crying because of her?

JJ shifted the weight of her body to her other leg, and her face was no longer lit by the hallway's light. As no answer came to her previous question, JJ asked another one. "How many drinks did you have?"

"One beer. Don't worry, I'm not here because I'm drunk. I'm here because I want to talk to you, Jay. I _need_ to talk to you." Emily took a step in JJ's direction, but the blonde retreated immediately, maintaining the distance. Emily understood the message, and lowered her head in defeat, rethinking her approach.

"JJ, I know you're scared with all that's happened between us. I know you are struggling to make the right decisions, and I get it." Emily said, but JJ interrupted her before she could continue.

"We already talked about this, Em…"

"No, we shouted about this and you ran away. Please, let me finish." Emily begged. JJ looked away, but motioned for Emily to keep talking. "I just want you to know that I'm not sorry for what happened. As a matter of fact, I remember each moment and I still can't believe how lucky I was to have you, even if it was just that once." The brunette moved closer again. This time JJ didn't move away, but she wrapped her arms around herself. So Emily stopped.

"Emily, I…" JJ uttered. "I can't say I didn't like what happened. But it can't happen again. You know it. It's not right on so many levels. I have a son. I have a boyfriend. And besides, we are co-workers, we are best friends. If we keep this going, we will lose everything. All of it, gone."

"I know, you're right. You're right about everything, but I can't stand being away from you anymore..." Giving one more step, Emily slowly reached for JJ's hand, breaking the blonde's defensive posture. She held JJ's hand and they stared into each other's eyes, in silence.

Suddenly, they heard the elevator doors open, and voices emerging from it. They immediately recognized the voices. Hotch, Morgan, Rossi and Reid had returned from the bar.

 _Shit!_ JJ did the first thing that came to her mind to prevent them from being seen. She quickly grabbed Emily's arm, pulled her inside the bedroom and shut the door. With the unexpected pull, Emily almost tripped, but JJ's firm grip prevented her from hitting the floor. Both women sat on the floor, trying to control their chuckles. They waited quietly for the guys to enter their bedrooms and for silence to settle in the hallway again, whilst calming their laughs and accelerated breaths.

Emily watched JJ's smile through the dim light of the room. "I missed that smile."

JJ evaded eye contact, looking at the floor's carpet. The brunette got up from the floor and offered a hand to help JJ stand, and she accepted it. Taking advantage of the situation, Emily gave a little extra propulsion, causing JJ to stand mere inches away from her. Their eyes met again. Emily bit her bottom lip, repressing the sudden urge to kiss the blonde's mouth.

"Why are you so irresistible?" The brunette whispered.

JJ parted her lips slightly, her breath becoming heavier as Emily's fingers ran up and down her arm. The blonde caught Emily's hand with her's, trying to stop her.

"Why are you so mischievous?" JJ asked back, a thousand conflicting feelings wondering through her sapphire eyes.

Bringing her free hand up, Emily caressed JJ's cheek, then lightly contoured the other woman's lips with her thumb, forgetting everything JJ had just said about this being wrong.


	15. Just this once

Closing the distance between their bodies, Emily kissed the blonde's lips smooth and slowly, in a long and passionate moment.

That tender kiss quickly evolved into a more vigorous one. Hands roaming every inch of fabric that covered their bodies, red lips pressed against pink ones, tongues dueling in a fierce and lustful dance. JJ squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ignore the conflicting voices in her head. And as the kiss grew deeper and more passionate, the voices in her brain started to blur, and quickly ceased.

"Should we do this?" Emily asked in between kisses, she saw the hesitation in JJ's eyes, "Just this once?" she added with a smirk.

JJ bit her bottom lip and then nodded, already too build up in the moment to be able to fight it. "I guess... just this once." The blonde answered, ferociously kissing Emily's lips once again.

Emily broke the connection between their lips. She brought one hand to JJ's neck, fingertips roaming over the sensitive skin. JJ tilted her head back and Emily took the chance she was waiting for. She ran her tongue along the length of JJ's neck, slowly, teasingly, ending near the younger woman's earlobe.

"I want you…" Emily whispered softly into the blonde's ear whilst gently pushing JJ towards the room's bed, "I want your skin… your scent… your touch… all of you." JJ let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.

They kept walking backwards. Eventually JJ felt the back of her legs hit the bed. With the unexpected impact, she lost her balance and sat down. Emily was still standing in front of her. JJ watched as Emily took her own shirt off and dropped it somewhere on the wooden floor, revealing her toned upper body and her sexy black bra. How could such a simple move be so damn sensual when coming from Emily? The younger woman tried to stand up once again, but was stopped by Emily's hand, pushing her back down on the bed. Her heart rate increased massively as Emily placed one knee on each side of her, straddling her. The brunette's breasts right in front of JJ's eyes. So tempting. The blonde's hands hovered over the bare skin of Emily's torso, setting each cell on fire as they went.

Emily grabbed JJ chin, and bent her back slightly, so that she was able to catch JJ's lips with hers. JJ's mouth opened immediately, inviting her tongue in. The brunette brought her hands to the hem of JJ's t-shirt, tickling the skin underneath, silently asking for permission to take it off. JJ lifted her arms and Emily promptly pulled it up and over JJ's head, revealing her naked upper body. Emily took a brief moment to admire the beauty in front of her before gently pushing on the blonde's chest, making her lie down on the bed.

Taking advantage of her position on top, Emily placed one of her knees in between JJ's legs and whilst kissing the blonde's mouth, she started rubbing her thigh against JJ's center, causing a moan to escape the younger woman's lips. Emily quickly covered JJ's mouth with one hand as she tried to control her chuckles.

"JJ! We have very sensitive neighbors, remember?!" The brunette whispered with a grin.

"I know, I'm sorry", JJ giggled, "I'll control myself. But it's entirely your fault!" She said, claiming Emily's lips once again.

Slipping her hand under the back of Emily's black pants, JJ grabbed her butt cheeks, pulling their bodies impossibly closer. The brunette left JJ's lips asking for more and she started licking and kissing down her body, making the blonde shiver. She gazed over JJ's beautiful breasts, she brushed her thumb over one hard nipple whilst licking and sucking on the other.

"God, Emily…" JJ muttered, biting her own finger to prevent any moan from escaping.

Emily continued licking and sucking each nipple, whilst her hand traveled down till it reached the hem of JJ's pants and then back up to her breasts, slowly, teasingly. She looked into those beautiful blue eyes, the sensual look in the blonde's face made her shiver.

"Take your clothes off." JJ asked. Emily obeyed. She quickly got up from the bed and started taking of the rest of her clothes, while JJ also took off her panties. Once they were both completely naked, Emily crawled on top of JJ again, resuming her previous position, but the smaller woman managed to roll them over and sit straight on top of the older woman, stranding Emily in between her legs. Emily could feel JJ's center against her skin.

"God, you're so wet, JJ…" Emily murmured, whilst trying to regain control over her. She tried to move up and kiss JJ's mouth. But the blonde brought two fingers to Emily's lips, stopping her.

"Shhhh" JJ hushed, seductively, as she put her other hand in between their legs and started circling the brunette's clit. A jolt of pleasure ran up Emily's body. She licked JJ's two fingers, as she tried to control herself not to orgasm right away. While continuing to rub her clit, JJ bent down and kissed Emily, slipping her tongue inside the other woman's mouth. Emily ran her hands over JJ's back, and grabbed her blonde locks firmly when JJ inserted one finger inside of her. She arched her back off the bed and sighed with pleasure. JJ started pulling in and out of Emily, slowly, teasingly, her body following the rhythm of her strokes, as she licked every inch of pale skin she could reach.

"JJ... turn around, baby..." Emily asked. JJ looked up, not sure of what the brunette had asked her to do. "Let me please you at the same time you do it to me", Emily added.

JJ took a second to process Emily's request. But she eventually turned, placing her knees on each side of Emily's shoulders, and her hands near her hips. The brunette grabbed JJ's ass and started kissing the inside of her legs. The younger woman buried her head in Emily's lower abdomen to suppress the moan that suddenly wanted to escape. She shivered as Emily's tongue came closer and closer to her core with each kiss and her hands caressed the length of her thighs and bum.

Unable to handle Emily teasing her anymore, JJ resumed her previous actions in the hopes Emily would do the same to her. She inserted her finger back inside Emily's center. The brunette's hips buckled in the air, seeking for more of JJ's touch.

"Give me more, baby… please." Emily pleaded. The aroused tone on Emily's voiced turned JJ on even more. The blonde did as she was told, and inserted a second finger into Emily's center, keeping the thrusts painfully slow.

Emily ran her tongue over JJ's slit, tasting her juices, feeling her walls contract at each lick. She dipped her tongue inside JJ, moving in and out of the blonde at a steady pace.

Starting to feel like she was losing control again, JJ sped up her thrusts. She felt Emily hum against her center, she knew she was close, so she started licking the brunettes clit at the same time she curled her fingers inside of her. Emily's hips rocked at the rhythm of her thrusts as her walls tightened around JJ's fingers and her clit throbbed beneath her tongue. Emily suppressed her breathing, containing the moans that threated to escape as the orgasm hit her. The blonde slowed her thrusts, letting Emily ride off her orgasm completely.

Emily stood still for a while, regaining her breath, and when she did, she sent JJ three feet above the sky. Emily's tongue and fingers danced over her skin, dipped inside of her, rubbed her clit and then repeated everything all over again, making JJ collapse on top of her, panting.

JJ turned around and lied next to Emily. The brunette turned on her side, using her arm as a pillow. She looked at the blonde next to her, whom was laying face up, her breath still hasty, her eyes looking at the ceiling. Emily propped herself up on one shoulder, looking at the beautiful woman lying naked next to her, which made JJ look back at her. The brunette leaned forward and placed a long and soft kiss on her lover's lips, while caressing the skin of her stomach, gently… Once they broke the kiss, they looked into each other's eyes and smiled, in silence. It would be the perfect moment to say something, to say what she wanted to say for so long now, Emily thought, but any word would have ruined that moment. So she just stole another kiss from JJ's lips, pulled the covers over them and snuggled by the blonde's side, closing her eyes, and falling asleep a few minutes later.


	16. Again

Emily Prentiss woke up due to the piercing noise of her phone's alarm clock. She stretched her arm to mute the sharp sound, her head still buried in the soft pillow. Hoping to see the beautiful blonde by her side, Emily turned around and eventually opened one sleepy eye, but what she woke up to wasn't what she wanted. Just an empty bed.

JJ wasn't there… _again_. JJ had left… _again_. She thought they had made some improvements that night, but apparently she was wrong. The king size bed suddenly felt even bigger, emptier. She sighed and buried her face back in the pillow, fully covering up her naked body with the warm sheets. But suddenly the brunette heard the sound of a door opening and a familiar voice emerging from it.

"Are you still sleeping? Emily, we need to catch our flight in less than an hour. Hotch will kill us if we get late to the hotel lobby downstairs!"

Emily turned around, blinking. The bathroom door was now open and emerging from it was JJ, wrapped around a white towel with the hotel's logo embroidered on, and with a light blue toothbrush in her mouth. Her wet blond locks rested on her bare shoulders. The small drops of water slowly tracing their trail from the tips of her hair to her chest, ending up being soaked up by the towel's fabric right above her breasts.

JJ noticed Emily staring and chuckled. Holding the toothbrush with her hand, she tried to get Emily's attention back to what she had said before.

"Em, _hello_. You need to hurry up!" But the brunette simply ignored what she was saying.

"When I woke up and didn't see you in bed, I thought you had left again." She said as she got up from the bed and walked naked towards JJ.

JJ smiled.

"Did you forget that it was you who came to _my_ room last night. Even if I wanted to, how could I leave my own hotel room? Where would I go? To Reid's?" The blonde said with a smirk.

The two women were now mere inches apart. Emily wrapped one arm around JJ's waist and gently pulled their bodies closer. The contact with the moist towel enveloping JJ, sent shivers through Emily's body. They stared at each other for a while, blue eyes beaming at brown ones.

"Would you have left if it was my room we where in?" Emily asked. The brunette noticed a little bit of toothpaste foam on the corner of JJ's mouth, and she licked it off, teasingly. JJ closed her eyes briefly and smiled.

"One thing I know for sure. If I didn't have my mouth full of toothpaste right now, I would totally kiss you."

Emily laughed and stepped away, letting the younger woman finish washing her mouth. When she was done, she turned back to Emily, her hand reaching for the other woman's neck, caressing it, then travelling down to the valley between her breasts while she leaned closer so that their lips would touch. Tongues started dancing together, slowly, and passionately. Eventually, JJ's towel slipped from around her body. She tried to catch it, but it was in vein, the warm piece of fabric ended up in the floor, like a Christmas wrapping paper, revealing a wanted gift. They stared at each other and shyly giggled.

"Gosh, do we really need to be downstairs in like half an hour?" Emily said as she took a deep breath to calm her libido and bent down to pick up JJ's towel. The blonde nodded. "Great, now I'll spend the rest of the day imagining the things we could have done right here and now."

JJ smiled whilst wrapping the towel around her body again. She placed a tender kiss on her cheek and replied mischievously.

"We'll make up for it next time."


	17. He knows

The flight back to Quantico was quiet. While Morgan slept in the seat in front of JJ, Reid sat by her side, reading one of his books, something about epigenetics. She could hear Rossi and Emily talking and laughing a few seats ahead. For some reason it made her smile. JJ tried to see where Hotch was, she ended up spotting him in the far end of the jet, his eyebrows furrowed as he passed his eyes through some reports.

When the jet landed and they hopped out, Emily walked besides the blonde woman. She waited for the other to get some distance, not noticing that Hotch had stayed inside the jet a little longer.

"So, can I ask you something?" The brunette said in a quiet voice, smiling softly.

"Sure." JJ replied as she kept walking and looking forward.

"I was wondering if you'd want to have dinner with me… tonight." Emily said.

The blonde looked at her for a second, surprised. It took a moment before the answer came. JJ chuckled lightly, "Yeah, I think we could do that." They smiled at each other and then sped up their pace to get near the others. A few meters behind them, Hotch observed his team, as he also walked towards the FBI building.

The team spent the day filling in paperwork and writing reports. It was the tedious part of their jobs, but awkwardly the one that JJ was most used to; after all she spent most of her years in the BAU taking care of those reports and paperwork, before becoming an agent.

Eventually it was time for them to go home. Morgan and Rossi were the first ones to say their goodbyes and leave.

"I think I'll be going too." Reid informed Emily and JJ, who were in the bullpen. Emily thought it would be safer if she wasn't seen exiting with JJ, so she took the cue and told Reid she'd go with him. But before, she grabbed an empty file and walked over JJ's desk, placing it on top of a paper stack.

"JJ, here's that file you asked me earlier." The brunette said, not giving anything away. JJ thanked her, not sure what that file was. She watched as Emily and Reid walked towards the elevator and then opened the file. It wasn't empty after all. There was a yellow post-it stuck to it. It had the name and address of a restaurant and _'8pm. I'll be waiting for you.'_ written on it. JJ smiled and looked up at the elevator, but Emily and Reid had already left. She stared back at the post-it. Trying to shake the silly smile off her face, JJ took the yellow paper from the file and kept it in her pants' pocket. She looked around to check if the bullpen was empty and took her phone out, preparing herself to lie to the father of her child. Trying not to over think what she was about to do, she pressed the speed dial button and waited for Will to pick up.

"Hey honey, somethin' wrong?" Will's voice emerged from the speaker.

"Hi baby" JJ started, feeling a knot form in her throat. "No, everything is fine. It's just that I'm going to get home late. I still have a load of paperwork to end so don't count me for dinner." JJ said, biting her lips.

"Oh, okay." She could hear the disappointment in Will's voice.

"I'm sorry Will, I'll head home as soon as I can. Will you and the little man be okay?"

"Don't worry, I'll take care of Henry and I'll be here waiting for you. I miss you babe.", Will replied.

It felt like a sharp knife being sunk into her heart. _I'm sorry_. "I miss you too. Bye." JJ replied. She waited for him to say goodbye and hung up. Exhaling deeply, she turned around but she wasn't expecting to see anyone there. When she did, her heart jumped. He wasn't supposed to have listened to that. _Shit._

"Ho.. Hotch", she stuttered. The boss had probably left his office and walked to the bullpen without her noticing it. "You startled me." She faked a smile.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you, but there is something worrying me." Hotch took a moment before continuing, "Just half an hour ago you handed me all the paperwork you had to fill, everything, done..." He left the question in the air, without actually asking it. Why had she just lied to Will on the phone.

JJ squinted, considering her options, "With all due respect Hotch, I don't think that my personal life is something for you to worry about."

Hotch stared at her, wide eyed, not fully believing she had just said that. He got into his more aggressive, stoic tone. "It is if the reason you just lie to the father of your son is because you're having an affair with someone…" he lowered his voice, "…from this team!"

JJ was taken by surprise. _He knows. How does he know?_ She shook her head and chuckled, "What are you talking about?"

"You may fool every profiler in this unit, but I've known you for years JJ. Did you really think I wouldn't find out? You might have fooled me when you got pregnant, but not with this."

The blonde just stood there, mouth open, speechless.

"JJ I'm sure you know what can happen to our team if the smallest rumor reaches the wrong ears. But that's not even what I want you to take under consideration."

"Please don't start the whole _You're going to ruin your family too_ speech!" JJ interrupted. "Believe me, I've taken it under consideration every time. But I can't help it Hotch, I know it's not right but… it feels right when I'm with her!" A salty tear escaped and travelled down her cheekbone.

Hotch looked at her, like a father looking at his daughter. "Do you still love Will?" He asked.

"Of course I still love him!" JJ answered without even flinching.

"Do you love Emily?"

JJ hesitated before answering. "I… I don't know! It's confusing! You can't love two people at the same time, right? But I like being with her." A few more tears escaped her blue eyes.

"As your friend, I'd tell you to figure out what you really feel about Emily, and decide between her and Will. But I'm also your boss, and as your boss I have to tell you to end this affair, unless you want to see this team be ripped apart." He stepped closer, putting a reassuring hand on JJ's shoulder. "I'll be the one you need me to be, whenever you need me to." And with that he grabbed his suitcase and left, leaving JJ numb in the bullpen.

* * *

 

It was 5 minutes to 8pm. Emily sat restless in the comfortable chair at the restaurant's table, biting her nails while she waited for JJ to show up. A few minutes later, she saw the blonde get out of her vehicle and head towards the restaurant's entrance. Emily's eyes immediately glowed with joy. But she soon noticed that the expression in JJ's face wasn't so joyful. She watched as JJ quickly walked over to their table and sat in the chair in front of her. The brunette stared quizzical at the younger woman. JJ looked down at the table whilst she hit the tip of her fingers on the silk table cloth, repeatedly. Emily wasn't sure if she should ask what was going on. It took a few seconds but JJ eventually spoke.

"Hotch knows." And as soon as the words came out of her mouth, she got up from her chair, and walked to the exit door. Emily took a moment to process what she just heard, when she did, she was slack-jawed. She ran out of the restaurant, after JJ.

"JJ, wait!" She yelled. The blonde stopped and turned to Emily.

"I'm sorry Emily." JJ started, the tears threatening to escape her eyes once again. "I really was looking forward to have dinner with you, but now I feel like I got hit by a truck. This isn't just between us. I was stupid enough to think we could keep this going, secretly, that I could have it all without things mingling together and without screwing everything up." The blonde grabbed Emily's hair softly, caressing her cheek with her thumb. "I'm sorry, I can't stay. I need to get my thoughts straight."

The brunette didn't know why but she ended up nodding and letting JJ leave. _Get your thoughts straight._ Emily chuckled sadly. _Oh… the irony._


	18. Hit

**A/N:** **as you'll probably notice when you start reading this chapter, this is taking place at the last episodes of season 7, the Hit &Run episodes. I'm taking many of the original lines and story, because I need to use this for what I have in mind for the next chapters. But it's not a complete copy of it, don't worry, I'm changing and adding some lines and thoughts :D**

**No copyrights infringement intended.**

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The next morning, JJ woke up with the sound of her alarm clock. She looked at the screen as she turned it off. 7:30 am.

"Argh… just one more minute…" She groaned.

"C'mon, here we go. Get your mama. Get her." She heard Will say playfully. Then she felt the light weight of her son when he decided to jump on top of her.

"Aw… Denied!" JJ grinned as she turned on her back, to look at her little boy.

"Mommy, wake up! It's time to _pway_!" Henry said, making her laugh.

"I'm late for work, and you promised." Will said as he put on his wrist watch.

"Okay buddy, go get your shoes." JJ told Henry whilst she tried to drag herself out of bed, in vain. "When will a day off actually be a day off?" She grumbled.

"In about fourty years." Will said while he gently dragged her legs to the edge of the bed and pulled her up. "Come here." He pulled her closer, kissing her twice before going into the living room to grab his badge.

"Remember, we have that play day with Cameron so, you're on your own for dinner." JJ said as she escorted Will to the front yard. His police partner was waiting for him inside the car, on the other side of the street.

"I'll manage somehow." He replied with a smile, hugging her. "I love you."

"I love you too." JJ said back.

"I love you three!" Henry shout as he ran outside the door into his daddy's arms.

"I love you four" Will told him.

And there it was, that knot in JJ's throat again. The guilt, overwhelming her.

* * *

 

"Thank you." Emily told the vendor as they exited the uninhabited house. She sighed. "I don't know." She said to Morgan.

"Emily, what's not to know? It's a beautiful place." He asked, confused.

The brunette kind of made up an excuse. "There are cracks in the foundation."

Morgan gazed at her. "Cracks can be fixed."

"No, they can only be hidden, they're still there." Emily said, dejected.

"What? Are you afraid the place is going to fall down?"

Emily looked at the pavement and then back at her friend. "I'm afraid it's never going to be as strong as it was."

Morgan raised his eyebrows. He knew something was wrong. He asked her what was going on.

The brunette closed her eyes for a second and sighed. "I don't know. When I first came here, I felt like I was home and now it's just an uphill battle. People kill for opportunities like this." She paused. She wasn't really talking about the house. She was referring to chances in finding love. She thought she had that chance, with JJ. But Morgan didn't know she was talking about that, at least, that's what she hoped. "Am I crazy to walk away?"

"Well, you gotta do what's best for you. Follow your gut. What's it trying to tell you?"

She stared at him, feeling lost. How was she supposed to know what her gut was trying to tell her when her heart and her brain were arguing with each other at the same time?

* * *

 

 _"All units in the vicinity off Penn and Southeast, robbery in progress at Colonial Liberty Bank. Shots fired. Repeat: Shots fired. All units."_ The dispatcher said through the radio of Will and his partner's car. They were just one block away.

"426 responding." Will said through the equipment. They turned on the sirens and drove there. Other police vehicles were already covering the main entrance, so they parked at the side one. As soon as they got out of the car, one of the robbers came through the bank's side door and shot Will's partner. Will hurried to take cover, ducking on the opposite side of the car. He shot the robber on the chest. Then, another robber came out and started shooting, taking his wounded partner back inside the bank.

As there were hostages in the bank, the FBI was called in. The BAU's day off was officially on hold. Knowing that Will was involved in the situation, JJ asked her neighbor to take care of Henry and rushed into the scene. The rest of the team, including Emily, were already there, Will next to them. As soon as she saw him, JJ ran in his direction and hugged him.

"You ok?" The blonde asked, worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He answered, hugging her back.

Emily flinched.

"It's definitely them. I only saw the King and the Jack, but I figure the Queen's inside, too." Will informed them. The known robbers were being called "The Face Cards" by the media. Hotch briefed them on their M.O. as they walked to the surveillance truck, where Garcia was putting up everything she had on the unsubs. JJ went in after Will. When they were inside, she noticed that Emily had gone in right after her. She was now in the middle of her boyfriend and her lover. ' _Great'_ she thought, feeling slightly claustrophobic in there.

"This is the first time they've been interrupted. What went wrong?" JJ asked.

"It's a big bank, it's possible they weren't able to round everybody up before someone triggered the alarm." Emily opined, without taking her eyes off the surveillance footage. The robbers had cut off the feed before they went inside the bank, but now that they had their masks on, they had it back on.

"JJ, Reid and Prentiss, look at past robberies. That's gonna be our victimology. Pull another analyst if you need." Hotch commanded. JJ squeezed Will's hand before following Reid and Emily out, feeling the need to silently assure him that everything was going to be okay.

Rossi started a line of communication with the robbers. The King picked up and immediately asked for a doctor to give the Jack's assistance. Rossi tried to negotiate the release of some hostages in return, but they weren't in the mood to negotiate. The Queen shot one of the hostages.

"Better send in some help, or more people are gonna die." The King retorted. They had to send in a medical trained agent.

Hotch started looking back at their behavior, the King was more concerned about the Jack than he was with letting the Queen find a way out by herself. The male unsubs were related. He communicated that information to Garcia, to narrow her search.

In one of the surrounding building, Prentiss, JJ and Reid were sitting at a round table analyzing photos and papers, Kevin was called out to help them. Through the geographic profile, Reid discovered that each of their robberies had been zigzagging through the map, but always in the direction of Washington DC. They were headed to the capital. The question was why.

"Hey, there is something all these robberies have in common. The Queen's the only one who pulls the trigger." JJ brought up. The Queen was sadistic, she didn't shoot to kill, she bled her victims out, shooting them in the gut, feeding on their suffering and fear. And she was more in control of the operation than the others let on. By that time, Garcia had already identified the two men, only the woman was still unidentified.

JJ waited for Reid and Kevin to go to the computer at the other end of the room before she talked to Emily.

"Em, I'm sorry about last night. I got really stressed out when Hotch confronted me with… this… I mean… us…" JJ babbled.

"Hey, hey…" Emily said softly, trying to calm her down. "It's okay." The brunette placed her hand on top of JJ's one, they're eyes met for a moment, finding comfort in each other, but then they noticed Reid returning to their table. Emily quickly lifted her hand and JJ removed it from under her soft touch, grabbing a pen and trying to focus on the documents in front of her.


	19. The decision

**A/N: As the latest, this chapter is based on the events of the season 7 finale. No copyright infringement intended.**

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Emily was standing in front of the big screen watching the news feed about the robbery and trying to find out what she and the team were missing. JJ and Reid were sitting in chairs behind her. When Agent Anderson came through the door telling her there was a call for her from Interpol, Emily didn't even bother to look away from the screen. "Take a message, please." She told Anderson. But when the young agent said it was from Clyde Easter, she turned around to look at him, surprised.

"Your old unit chief?" Reid asked. Emily didn't even answer, she wasn't expecting that. Why would her old unit chief from when she was on Interpol be calling her?

"He says he has information about the Queen of Diamonds." Anderson said. She followed the agent to the phone.

" _Salut ma belle. Ça va?_ " Clyde greeted her in french, chuckling. _"Sorry I missed your funeral, by the way. I was held up in Prague."_

"So you're not surprised?" Emily asked.

_"Of course not. Keeping tabs on my former assets is a particular skill of mine."_

Emily sighed, not that surprised either. "Okay, what can you tell me about my mystery woman?"

 _"Ah yes. Well, if she seems familiar to you, she should. We don't know her identity, but we've seen her before."_ Clyde informed. He freshened up Emily's memory. That woman had struck various banks worldwide including one in Paris when Emily was relocated there for Interpol. But in all those robberies she never used a mask to hide her face, nor did she have any partners. She didn't need any at that time. Why would she need them now? Emily furrowed her eyebrows.

On the outside tents, Rossi called the inside of the bank. The King, named Chris, answered the phone. "How do you want to end this, Chris?" By this time, Olly, the Jack, had died from the loss of blood due to Will's shot, and Chris had killed the agent with medical training the FBI sent in.

"I want out of here!" The robber answered. He demanded an armored truck and a plane with a clean flight path to Switzerland. But as he said that, the Queen intervened.

"No, no, no. Chad. We wanna go to Chad." She corrected. Rossi could tell the King didn't like her interfering.

"No agents with guns this time. We'll fly ourselves." Chris said, before hanging up.

That gave the team new information about the robbers. There was something important about Chad for the Queen. And they said they could fly themselves, as nothing on Chris' record suggested he would have that ability, the Queen probably would. Emily called Clyde back, to see if he knew something.

 _"Well, unfortunately Interpol doesn't have many assets in that particular region of Africa. Maybe that's something you could help me with when this is over."_ Clyde suggested.

Emily chuckled. "Work for Interpol again? That'll be the day."

As the brunette said that to the phone, JJ's eyes shot up, gazing at Emily, intensely. Reid had almost the same reaction.

 _"Not work, darling. Run."_ Clyde said, on the other side of the phone. _"You see, I've been promoted. So, the team's yours whenever you want it."_

Emily's jaw dropped. "It's a hell of a time to bring that up."

JJ looked away, staring at the infinite. She swallowed hard. Clyde was making a job offer to Emily, and she didn't promptly deny it.

"You find me a connection I can use and maybe we'll discuss it." Emily said. She hung up the phone and looked at Reid and JJ, whose eyes were fixed on her. JJ tilted her head to the side, one eyebrow up, silently asking her if she was actually considering the option. The brunette shrugged, not making a big deal of it, like nothing unusual had just been offered to her.

Meanwhile, Hotch, Rossi and Will, with Garcia's help, found out that someone from inside the bank sent a text warning the cops, the odd thing about it was that the text was sent 30 seconds before the robbers had cut the bank's security feed to get inside. The text hadn't been sent from one of the hostages but from one of the robbers. They wanted the police, the FBI and the media there. And there was someone else hacking the security feed, the person for whom the Queen would always dress up. A fourth unsub. Her real partner. One that probably the King and the Jack didn't know existed.

Rossi called Chris again, trying to make him see he was being set up by the Queen, turning them against each other. But it didn't come out as Rossi wished. Instead, Chris demanded to talk to the cop who shot his brother, face to face. That cop was Will.

"No. No, forget it!" JJ said, indignant. The robbers had already killed one cop and a federal agent, there was no way to guarantee he wasn't going to kill him the minute he walked in. But Will wanted to end that, four people were dead since he shot Chris' brother. If going inside meant ending that and saving the other hostages, he was up for it. JJ, Morgan and Hotch weren't about to let that happen, though.

Emily went out with Rossi to call Chris again. He was angry because they hadn't sent Will in yet. Rossi tried to tell him they couldn't send in someone else to be killed. The King didn't like Rossi's answer. He grabbed one of the hostages and shot him dead. "Uh, you just killed Shawn Harper. You, not me. And I'm gonna shoot another hostage every 60 seconds until you send in the cop!" Chris said, angrily.

Emily ran back inside the surveillance truck, where the others were gathered talking to Will, informing them that the robber was threatening to shoot hostages every 60 seconds if he didn't have Will. Hotch still didn't let him go. He was going to send the tactical team in. Morgan, JJ and Emily came outside, they were going over the break in plan when JJ spotted Will walking towards the bank.

"What is he doing? No, no, no." She tried to stop him, but Morgan grabbed her and didn't let her go. "Morgan, let me go, please!" She yelled.

"I can't do that!" The muscled man replied. The petite tried to get off his grip but he was much stronger than she was. Emily grabbed her arms, helping Morgan, and trying to calm her down. JJ started calling out Will's name, trying to make him stop, but he didn't even look back. He knew she wouldn't let him go, but he had to do it.

As soon as he walked in, the robbers let a woman and the children leave the building. But not long after, they heard two gunshots. JJ's heart stopped, tears started crumbling down her blue orbs, the blood drained away from her face, making her look white as snow. She tried to run inside the bank, but once again was stopped by two pairs of arms. She covered her mouth with one hand, as she struggled to keep herself standing. The blonde turned around and staggered her way into the surveillance truck, where Garcia and Hotch were. Morgan and Emily followed her.

JJ sat down, unsure that her legs would have the strength to hold her up. Everyone was worried, looking at her without knowing if they should say anything. Emily bit her nails, worried. She wanted to sit beside her and hug her, hold her in her arms, but she couldn't...

"Did you see where he was shot?" JJ asked Penelope, "Is he alive or dead, Garcia?"

"I don't know." The tech said sincerely.

"He... He was wearing a vest." Emily intervened, "He might be okay."

"Might be…" JJ chuckled dejected, another tear forming in her eye.

Will must have caused a distraction, because a while after, all the hostages escaped. All, except himself. Hotch ordered the FBI to go in. At Morgan's command, them and the tactical team started walking towards the building, guns out.

"Garcia, get them out of there!" Reid shouted out through the phone as he found out it was a set up. The Queen had set the building to explode. But it was too late, as soon as they tried to warn the others, the building went up in flames. Morgan and JJ were thrown back by the blast. Emily was already inside the building when it happened.

Morgan got up, seeing JJ by his side. He asked her if she was alright. The blonde agent nodded. She looked around. "Where's Will? Did he get out of there? And where's Emily?"

Morgan helped her stand up and they ran inside the destroyed building, shouting out for Will and Emily.

"Over here." Emily responded, coughing. JJ followed the sound of her voice and ran up to her. Morgan following right behind her.

"Are you alright?" She asked, worriedly, placing a hand on the brunettes shoulder and squeezing it gently. Emily nodded, she was with a couple of wounded elders who had gone to the back to hide from the robbers. "I can't find Will, have you seen him?" JJ asked.

Emily looked at her, the blonde's blue eyes where bloodshot and filled with worry. "He might be down below." She answered. JJ and Morgan left, they followed a tunnel the blast probably opened. It led to a door that exited two blocks away from the bank. They didn't see Will or the robbers, but JJ spotted Will's wallet on the floor. He was alive. They didn't know where or why, but the robbers still had him, alive.

"Will's with them. I found his wallet." JJ told the rest of the team when she and Morgan got back to the surveillance truck. Garcia spotted the robbers on a traffic cam. They got out on a federal vehicle with the sirens on.

"Whoever their outside man is, that's where they are heading now." Emily said. "I'm going to call Easter again. Now that there's been an explosion, he might have some ideas." She went outside to make the call. JJ waited a few seconds and then got outside as well.

"You have always had bad timing." JJ heard Emily say to the phone as she stepped outside the truck and closed the door. "Yeah, I will." Emily said before hanging up. She turned around to head back inside and tell the other what Clyde told her, when she came face to face with JJ.

"Was he offering you the job again?" JJ asked, looking at her own feet before staring at Emily.

The brunette nodded, "He wants me to run the London Gateway Office."

"And you want to go…" JJ saw it in her eyes.

"What I want is a chance to leave my past behind once and for all. To find myself. To be happy!" Emily replied, stepping closer, bringing her hand to cup the side of JJ's neck, her thumb caressing her cheekbone. "I thought I had that chance with you. That I could get you to love me. That, even with the scenery not being the easiest one, we'd end up figuring it out together. But I know now, I know that I'll never get you to stop loving Will, that you'll always love him more than you would ever be able to love me." Tears streamed down JJ's face as she opened her mouth to reply, but Emily was the one who continued, "Maybe it'll be better if I leave, for everyone. Hotch won't have to worry about us anymore, the team will be safe, your family will be safe, and I'll be able to leave all this behind." A single pair of tears escaped her dark brown eyes. She removed her hand from JJ's neck, and walked past her, wiping away the tears and heading back to the truck.

"You know, not once…" JJ said without turning around. Emily stopped to hear what she was going to say. "Not once have you told me you loved me." The blonde finished, her voice shattering. Emily blinked the tears away, inhaled deeply and entered the truck without saying another word to her.

As Emily joined the rest of the team inside, Morgan was hanging up a phone call. The lab found that a 10 year old phone was used to set the bomb off. The same type of bomb was last seen in a number of bombings in Chad. Emily briefed them on what Easter had told her.

JJ opened the door. "The police just informed me a paramedic was shot nearby, the security feed shows the Queen of Diamonds and Will getting in and out the ambulance."

"I'll go with you to the scene." Rossi said.

Meanwhile, Reid and Prentiss figured out that the fourth unsub had been inside the bank the whole time, posing as a hostage, his name was Matthew Downs.

While Rossi drove, JJ went through Will's wallet. "Oh no." JJ whispered. Rossi glanced at her and asked what was wrong. "Will's license is gone. They know where we live." She said. Rossi changed their destination, driving to JJ house.

After a long moment of silence he spoke. "Don't do that."

"What?" JJ asked as she looked through the car's window, absent.

"Go all quiet." Rossi replied.

"What am I supposed to do?" JJ chuckled whilst a few tears rolled down her face.

"Yell? Anything." He said. "You can't blame yourself."

"Wanna bet?" She said sadly. She broke her promise to Will, she left Henry, and now the robbers probably had her little boy too. And deep down she was starting to blame herself for something else.

When they arrived at JJ's street, she saw her neighbor playing with her daughter, but Henry wasn't there. Her heart was beating fast as if she had ran a marathon. They probably had her son. They planned their way in. While Rossi caused a distraction going to the neighbor's house, JJ sneaked inside her own home.

* * *

 

"The details are all part of their story." Emily said while she and the others were gathered in front of Garcia's computers.

"They probably met in Chad in '08." Reid continued.

"Garcia, is there anything that happened on this date in Chad?" Emily asked. The analyst's finger flew over the keyboard.

"Oh, you are good, Emily Prentiss. But this news is not." Garcia said. "Yes, there were multiple explosions on this date in '08." Hotch asked her where were the most casualties. "At a church… no, no!" Garcia corrected, finding a bigger number, "A train."

"Are trains still arriving at Union Station." Hotch asked. Chief Strauss answered affirmatively. But only authorities were allowed in.

"That's why they need Will." Emily pointed out.

Hotch, Morgan and Emily drove to Union Station as fast as they could. They split up, trying to find Will. They knew the unsub wouldn't be far. We'd want to stay close to watch. Once inside, Emily saw a flight of stairs that lead to a closed area due to restoration. There was a chance the unsub had took Will there, so she went up.

"I got the suspect going out on east wing." Emily heard Morgan say to the radio. She kept walking through the restricted area.

"I found Will." She informed the others when she spotted him cuffed and tied to a pole.

" _Is he mobile?"_ Hotch asked through the radio.

"Negative. He's got 6 transmitters on him and this whole place is gonna blow!" She said, her heart rate increasing as she saw the bombs attached to Will's chest. She took the duct tape off his mouth. Hotch asked where she was to go meet them. "No, you gotta get everyone out. Is the bomb squad here yet?" The brunette asked.

"They are three minutes away." Hotch informed. Prentiss looked at the timer on Will's chest. They didn't have three minutes.

"Emily, you gotta get Henry. They're at the house." Will told her, desperate.

"JJ and Rossi are already there." She assured him.

"Then just get everyone out of here." Will said, trying to get her to go somewhere safer.

Emily shook her head, thinking what she should do. The timer marked less than two minutes. She could leave him there, go somewhere safe and leave him there to die. He wouldn't be between her and JJ anymore. She just had to walk away and be ready to open her arms and comfort JJ after. Suddenly it seemed simple…


	20. The End

What the hell was she thinking? How would she ever forgive herself if she let Will to die there? And JJ probably wouldn't forgive her either... "I'm not gonna leave you." Emily told Will as he kept telling her to get out of there. "Just give me a minute."

"Just about all you got." Will said, looking at the timer marking 1:46.

Emily exhaled. She engaged her brain in full speed. "Ok, everything they did and said was about them."

"Narcissists." Will said.

"Romantics." Emily corrected. "They met in 2008." She said as she dial the numbers on the phone attached to the bomb. _2 TRIES LEFT._ The words popped up on the screen.

"Oh. What are you doing?" Will said, gasping. "Seriously Emily, go." She looked at his desperate eyes and shook her head. "Go!" He repeated. She couldn't do it. As hard as it was on her, she knew JJ would be a wreck if he died. She would try to save him, even if it meant she'd die there with him. That would be a very twisted and tragic ending for a romantic novel, if she made it out of there alive, she'd think about writing a book.

"Okay, hold on. C-H-A-D. 2-4-2-3" Emily tried again, clicking the numbers on the phone. _1 TRY LEFT_. "Oh, damn it!" She exhaled. "Okay, there are valentines for her so… a four letter word… love, life, soul…"

"Izzy…" Will panted. "Her name is Izzy."

It was worth the shot. Emily clicked on the number corresponding to each letter. The screen turned green and the timer stopped. They sighed with relief. But then, a smaller box opened automatically revealing a new timer inside. 30 seconds.

"Oh God!" Emily exclaimed.

" _Prentiss, what's your status? Prentiss, do you copy?"_ She heard Hotch's voice on her ear piece. She took it off, ignoring Hotch. She needed to focus.

"The storytelling is in the details." She thought out loud. "Those wires mean something."

"Like what?" Will said, distressed.

"The colors of the flag of Chad. Red, yellow and blue. Only one is different from the U.S. flag: Yellow." They had least than 5 seconds. Emily took the risk. It wouldn't make a difference if her deduction was wrong. She cut the yellow wire. The timer stopped. They both released the breaths they were holding. Emily sat back, calming her heart rate down.

"How did you do that?" Will asked, breathless.

"I didn't overthink it." Emily replied.

* * *

 

Emily was sitting in a bench, outside of the hospital she had taken Will to with Morgan and Hotch. And they'd been waiting for JJ and Rossi to meet them there. JJ was already there, but Emily didn't see the blonde before she went inside to see Will. So she waited outside, alone, watching the little ants going on their peaceful and busy lives.

"Em…" A familiar voice said, behind her. The brunette got up from the bench and turned in the direction of the sound. There she was, JJ, with puffy eyes and looking like she could take a nap.

"Hey" Emily said back.

JJ walked to her, wrapping her arms tightly around her neck. "Thank you." The blonde said, not louder than a whisper. "You could have died there. You both could. And yet you risked your life to save him." Emily felt two warm tears wetting her shirt.

"I had a feeling I could do it." Emily said with a chuckle.

JJ stepped back, now wrapping her arms around herself. She looked into Emily's eyes for a second, and then to the floor, where her foot started drawing patterns in the gravel.

The blonde took a deep breath. "Emily I…"

"I know" Emily said, nodding her head whilst looking into the blue sky.

"I love him…" JJ finished anyway, looking back at Emily, watching her reaction.

"I know." The older woman repeated, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall.

"I'm sorry, Em. I'm sorry that this happened between us."

Emily chuckled lightly. "I'm not." She was just sorry that it wouldn't keep happening.

JJ lowered her head again. She stood silent for a second, before she restarted talking. "I never meant to hurt anyone…" The brunette nodded and silence settled once again. JJ sighed, "He asked me to marry him."

That Emily wasn't expecting. She took her eyes out of the sky and gazed at JJ, surprised.

"And I said yes."

Emily bit the inside of her lower lip. "Wow. That's…. I'm not sure what you're expecting me to tell you now, Jayje." Emily said sincerely.

"Nothing." JJ replied, reaching for Emily's hand and grabbing it gently. "I just wanted you to know from me." The blonde exhaled. "Emily, it was never my intention to hurt your feelings…"

Emily shook her head. "It's okay, JJ, I get it." She felt like her whole world was about to explode, but she knew this was it. And as harsh as it was going to be, Emily knew she had to move on.

"I'm going to accept Easter's job offer and move to London." Emily said.

JJ was already guessing that. And she knew she was the major reason why Emily had decided to leave. "I'm... We're gonna miss you." JJ said, a tear falling down her face as she gently squeezed Emily's had.

* * *

 

It was JJ's wedding day. Emily was in a corner, away from all the excitement of the night, drink in hand. She watched as Hotch approached her. She forced a smile.

"How are you?" He asked.

Emily exhaled.

"That bad?" He asked again. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

The brunette nodded. "Absolutely. But not today."

"First thing tomorrow." Hotch said.

"It's a date." She chuckled.

She was going to miss them. Miss _her_. But this was the best for all of them. The best for herself. She had to believe that.

 

THE END

* * *

**A/N: So there we go. I know. This is not an happy ending. And you'll probably kill me now in the reviews. But the whole reason why I started this story was to tell my approach to Emily's departure from the show, when it happened.**  
 **I thought about saying that in the beggining, not to drive you with false hopes, but I never liked knowing the end of a book before reading it all. So, I didn't.**  
 **Anyways I want to know what you have to say in the reviews, so please, don't forget to leave one.**


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